Goofy Dad Stories (4) – Two Unfortunate Dates

Goofy Dad Stories (4) – Two Unfortunate Dates

I had two dates with young ladies that turned into a real mess. Literally.

Date #1 – I was in the 9th grade, and I liked this one particular girl, so I asked her to go for a walk, a nice innocent walk. There wasn’t much going on in Rockford, and walking was the only thing I could think of. So she said yes, and we’re just walking around town, not really going anywhere in particular. All of a sudden we heard a big flock of geese flying overhead, with all their honking and hooting. And I wanted to impress this girl, so I immediately invented a new-found knowledge of birds by looking up, pointing, and saying, “Hey, look at that! I think they must be in the — family of geese, and they are flying up north to their summer home!” I was very quick-witted as I totally fabricated that family genus of goose. As we were standing there, pointing up to the birds, one of these geese pooped, and it came all the way down from on high, way up there in the sky, and its poop splatted in my right eye. Bulls eye! It went all over my face and onto my shirt, which I had to then use to wipe the white mess out of my eye. A disaster. I didn’t know what to say. The girl shrieked, and then laughed hysterically all the way home. No sympathy whatsoever. A truly wonderful time together.

Date #2 – Fast forward to college, freshman year. A nice, sweet, innocent young lady, first date with her. We doubled with another couple, the other guy doing the driving. We had no particular place to go, just cruising around Chicago, looking at the sights. At one point in the car ride I gathered the courage to put my arm around her shoulder. We were in the back seat. She was looking in the other direction, and as I put my arm around her shoulder and nudged a little closer, she was surprised, turned her head, and looked pensively into my eyes. The only problem was, as soon as she looked into my face, blood started pouring out of my nose. I had no idea what to do, this had never happened to me before. Somehow, after hearing her shriek and move to the opposite side of the car, I was able to pinch my nose and stop the bleeding. But I was a bloody mess. For some reason, that was our only date. I think we were not meant for each other, though we remained good friends. Interesting side note, this girl was the roommate of a beautiful young co-ed named Sheridan Miller.