Home Sweet Home: Three Competing Views of the Homeplace
Nurturing a Christ-Centered Home: Three Competing Views of the Homeplace.
“Jesus Christ alone is our unity. Through Him alone do we have access to one another, joy in one another, fellowship with one another.” (Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together).
There are three perspectives that will inevitably compete for dominance in every home: the Me-First view, where the individual is idolized; the We-First view, where the family is idolized; and the He-First view, where the Lord is honored as the home’s central reference point and organizing principle.
“Parents must learn to form their family as a domestic church, a church in the home as it were, where God is honored, His law is respected, prayer is a normal event, virtue is transmitted by word and example, and everyone shares the hopes, the problems and the suffering of everyone else. All this is not to advocate a return to some outdated style of living… It is to return to the roots of human development and human happiness!” (Saint John Paul 2).
The Purpose of the Home:
Me-First: A Center for Self-Fulfillment.
We-First: A Showcase for Family Achievements.
He-First: A Christ-Centered Culture
The Function of the Home:
Me-First: A Private Rest Stop for Growth in Selfishness.
We-First: An Activity Headquarters for Accomplishments.
He-First: A Sanctuary and Domestic Church.
The Motivations in the Home:
Me-First: Prestige, Personal Power, Self-Development, Credibility, Entitlement.
We-First: Parental Pride, Family Bragging Rights, Appearance of Success, Fame.
He-First: Mature in Faith and Grace, Glorify God, Experience Community, Grow in Joyful Servanthood.
The Character of Home Life:
Me-First: Distant, Cold, Autonomous from each other, Self-Absorbed, Lack of Mutual Understanding.
We-First: Ambitious, Busy, Hyperactive, Competitive, Superficial.
He-First: Thankful, Kindhearted, Cooperative, Peaceful, Joyful.
The Role of the Parents:
Me-First: Banker, Cook, Butler, Secretary, Maid, Personal Valet.
We-First: Activities Director, Chauffeur, Chaperone, Resident Slave-Driver, Demanding Motivator.
He First: Guide to Truth, Nurturer of Goodness, Cultivator of Beauty, Example of Agape Love.
The Children are Seen as:
Me-First: An Inconvenient Expense, a Temporary Obligation, a Selfish Cretan.
We-First: A Budding Superstar, a Certified Prima Donna, an Extension of Parent Ego, Failures if Imperfect.
He-First: A Sacred Gift from God, a Holy Responsibility and Calling, an Unpredictable Joy, an Undeserved Privilege to Raise.
“Most people have forgotten nowadays what a home can mean…. It is a kingdom of its own in the midst of the world, a stronghold amid life’s storms and stresses, a refuge, even a sanctuary. It is not founded on the shifting sands of outward or public life, but it has its peace in God, for it is God who gives it its special meaning and value, its own nature and privilege, its own destiny and dignity. It is an ordnance of God in the world, the place in which – whatever may happen in the world – peace, quietness, joy, love, purity, discipline, respect, obedience, tradition, and with it all, happiness may dwell.” (D. Bonhoeffer, from Letters and Papers from Prison).