Goofy Dad Stories (11) – The Danger of Elastic Waistbands. This story goes way back, to when I was a mere lad of four. So, it’s ancient history, 64 years ago and counting. But it’s still funny. We were of course living in Rockford, Illinois. My parents had many friends from church, and often invited …

Goofy Dad Stories (10) – Food Blunders Note to Parents: Choose your battles wisely when raising your kids. Discover what is worth taking a stand, and let the rest go. Especially when it comes to food. Mealtime can be a battleground, and a parent has to think hard… Do I really want to wage this …

Goofy Dad Stories (9) – Splinters I Have Known While working through graduate school at Michigan State, I enjoyed a variety of jobs… liquor store manager at Sav-On Drugs, painter of apartments with the Christian Brothers Painting Company, gas station attendant at a Shell station, and a lineman for the Michigan Bell Telephone Company. While being …

Goofy Dad Stories (8) – Adventures in Golf I have a somewhat spotty history with golf. I did not enjoy the game in the least. It’s too infuriating, tedious, expensive, and not even close to fun. My golfing highlights would include: The Golf Bag – I had a good friend in Texas who loved to …

Goofy Dad Stories (7) – The Cursed Car Top Carrier It all started with a family vacation, driving from Northern Virginia to Rockford, Illinois. We packed our car top carrier full of suitcases, loaded up the station wagon, and the six of us headed for the Great Midwest. I bungee’d that carrier to the roof …

Goofy Dad Stories (6) – Woodleft! I do realize that I can be a man of few words. Which sometimes is not enough. One of my first clues was in Newburyport, Mass., right after the Larson family had moved into a 150 year old half-house on Boardman Street. This was in the early 1980’s, and …

Goofy Dad Stories (5) – The Bat Man There I was, minding my own business, innocently lying in bed late at night, window open, sweating because of the mid-summer heat in our bedroom that didn’t have air-conditioning. This is in our Newburyport, Mass. home, stacked right next to our neighbor, not more that 10 feet …

Goofy Dad Stories (4) – Two Unfortunate Dates I had two dates with young ladies that turned into a real mess. Literally. Date #1 – I was in the 9th grade, and I liked this one particular girl, so I asked her to go for a walk, a nice innocent walk. There wasn’t much going …

Goofy Dad Stories (3) – The Finger in the Door A few years ago at a little K-8 school in Arlington, Virginia, called Rivendell School, I was performing my usual role at 3:00 p.m. I was safely conducting students into waiting cars and the welcoming embraces of expectant parents and drivers. I had fully realized …

Goofy Dad Stories (2) – LOL All right, I ask you this… Who gave permission to some Master of the English Language to arbitrarily change the meaning of a long-held acronym? Did some textual linguist just die and go to heaven and change what LOL means? Who gave this person the right to do that? …

Goofy Dad Stories (1) – Coffee and Creamers. Once upon a time, when I was a busy and distracted educator, I stopped quickly at the local 7-11 on the way to school. The time was 7:00 a.m., the place, Falls Church, Virginia, the educator, preoccupied. After all, I had grade reports to write, curriculum to …