A Biblical Record of Major Crimes: Family Scams and Swindles
A Biblical Record of Major Crimes: Family Scams and Swindles.
“Tell all the truth, but tell it slant. Truth in indirection lies.” (Emily Dickenson).
A Different Look to a True Story. Emily Dickenson’s advice was to come at the truth from different angles; reveal the truth while approaching it sideways. There are times when only an indirect story will effectively grab a reader’s attention and will inspire a fresh perspective on an ancient truth. There are occasions when coming at a truth from the side through a story will go further than a didactic, systematic study using logic and reason. We seem to be created in a way in which truth can often be better understood from the side instead of head-on through a blunt statement of raw truth. This fictional story below is intended to reveal the truth of a biblical crime story in a way that brings a fresh perspective, an unexpected layer of meaning, to a familiar story. Perhaps we can learn something new in this indirect approach to the true story of life Rebekah, Jacob and Family Drama (Genesis 24-33).
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Oliver! (1968) – You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two Scene (5/10) | Movieclips
Life in the neighborhood changed fast when the Conners family moved in. They were a household of rascals, especially the mother and one of the twin boys named Slick. His real name was Robby, and both his names were perfect. In fact, the family name couldn’t have been more apt since they always seemed on the verge of devising a scheme of some sort or another, and those two in particular earned the reputation of being exceptional con artists. They were in every way Conners. The other twin son was named Harry, but his nickname was Red, for obvious reasons. He sprouted red hair all over his arms and legs before he ever got out of elementary school, and it seemed the bright red hair on his head noticeably grew every day, sticking out in all directions like he’s been electrocuted.
The father was a rather elderly, pleasant, easygoing sort of man. He was not particularly assertive, which was too bad. The mother could have used more guidance, for sure, as she figured out questionable ways of using her unquestionable intelligence. Yes, mom was quite beautiful as well, which she used to her advantage in one money-making scheme after another. Her clever ruses became legendary, like the time she bought a used dryer for $20 and turned right around and sold it for $200 to a neighbor after claiming it was brand new. Things like that, all the time.
Mom evidently handed her DNA down to her very clever son Slick, who was more than happy to continue what appeared to be the family tradition. Robby lived up to his name by pulling a fast one whenever he could make a quick buck. He made some easy money almost daily by selling his sack lunch at school for twice whatever it cost him to make at home. He really enjoyed bamboozling neighborhood kids by doing things like bribing a boy to fill a paper bag with dog poop, take it to the front door of the old grouch who lives down the street, set the bag on fire, ring the doorbell and scamper away, so the man had to open the door and begin stomping the bag to put out the fire. Naturally, Slick wouldn’t end up being good for the bribe money. He was good for things like that. People around him would get a kick out of his various shenanigans, but he didn’t exactly win many friends in the process.
The family dynamics were unfortunate…. Dad liked Harry best and considered him his favorite child. Mom, though, loved Robby best and doted on him constantly. There were strange aspects to life in the home then, since Harry was devoted to dad and Robby was devoted to mom. Harry would spend all his time outdoors hunting, playing every kind of sport imaginable, and generally enjoying the great outdoors and not being stuck housebound. Robby was more of a homebody, where he spent most of his time reading, doing chores, playing video games, and doing whatever his mother told him to do. But Harry didn’t join in his mother and brother’s neighborhood swindles, because, to put it delicately, he wasn’t quite smart enough. In fact, because he was so gullible, he would often end up on the short end of all these minor scams that happened around home or school. One time a classmate sold an old broken radio to Red for $10, convincing him that it was a priceless antique. Yes, that was Harry… strong, athletic, generally well-meaning, impulsive, and not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Robby really outdid himself one day when he heard about dad’s plan to give Harry most of the inheritance because Harry was the elder son. So the wheels in Slick’s mind were always whirling as he considered what to do about dad’s plan. Sure enough, that moment came on a Saturday when Harry roamed into Robby’s bedroom and noticed a spectacular video game system of Robby’s. “Oh man! That’s amazing, Slick! I’d give anything to have a system like that! Anything!” Well, that’s all it took for Robby to come up with another of his scams. “Tell you what, brother, if you let me have whatever you get in dad’s will, you can have this for nothing! Think of that, this huge monitor and Gameboy, free and clear!” Harry’s fingers started twitching as he thought about the hours of video games he could enjoy, and at the same time Robby’s eyes were filled with dollar signs. And the deal was struck, with Robby quietly asking that this little deal of theirs be a secret just between the two of them. Harry saw no problem with that arrangement, so that was that.
Very soon, though mom was up to her tricks as well, and decided to team up with Robby to pull a fast one over on dear old dad. The time drew near when dad had promised to officially sign the family business over to his eldest, Harry. This business had been in the family for generations and brought many perks, including the great likelihood of future success. Mom naturally wants Slick to inherit the business and assured success, so she devised a devious plan to hoodwink dad. She concocts a very dishonest scheme and instructs Robby to do the dirty work… “My dear son Robby, I want you to put this old coat of Harry’s on now, you know the one with all the aroma of Harry’s smelly cigars. Not only that, but just to make sure we fool dad, wear this fuzzy sweater that feels like Red’s hairy arms. Dad is so blind now that he won’t know it’s you he’s talking to and not your brother. This is the best time now to ask dad to sign his business and future success over to you, not your brother.”
So that’s exactly what Robby did as he told his dad one boldfaced lie after another. Robby told blind dad he was Harry, and that this would be the best time for dad to give the eldest the family business and the promise of success that came along with it. Poor dad was duped by his own wife and son, and he officially handed over the business to Robby while thinking it was Harry. Of course, Harry would discover this swindle sooner or later, and when he did, he grew into an understandable rage. “I am going to get him back if it’s the last thing I do!” Harry roared to his mother.
Always the clever one with schemes, mom arranged for Robby to get out of town before Harry catches up with him. She sent him to her brother Buddy in the next town over, thinking Buddy could take care of Robby till things cooled down on the homefront. Buddy agreed to let Slick stay at his house if Robby painted his house and repaired the shed in the backyard. “Sounds like a deal!” said mom and Slick together. Only, this was only the beginning of the scam that Buddy was running on Robby. Buddy next said, “Well, you can stay here as long as you mow my lawns and clean the inside of the house. Then we’re even and you can stay here as long as you like.” Except that was not the end of it. Buddy than told Robby that he had to shovel the snow in the winter, tend the garden in the summer, rake the leaves in the fall in order to earn his keep.
Finally, Slick awoke to the fact that he had met his match. Buddy was a better con artist than he was! He realized that he, the talented scammer, was royally scammed! So in the middle of the night Robby packed his suitcase, quietly snuck out of Buddy’s house, and escaped from all this slave labor. Robby moved to another town far away from Buddy. And this tale of family hustlers ends well, since Robby grew from a clever con man into a trustworthy God-fearer who desired nothing more than to make an honest living and continuing the father’s stellar reputation and success. On top of that, many years later, Robby and Harry arranged to meet, and they successfully reconciled. Harry turned out to be a generous man after all. And the clever rascal Robby matured into a determined and street-smart man with a big family of his own. Do wonders never cease?