Healthy Brains through Forgiveness and Harmony with One Another

Healthy Brains through Forgiveness and Harmony with One Another.

Forgiveness in the Newer Testament. There are two main Greek words for forgiveness in Scripture:

1. “Charizonai” = (from the root word charis, which means grace; used 23 times in NT for forgive); to freely offer the favor of forgiveness to those who don’t deserve it; to graciously pardon an undeserving wrongdoer; to generously grant the grace-gift of unqualified forgiveness. “You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave (“charizonai”) all our sins. He dismissed our spiritual debt, He canceled the record of the spiritual charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross, the slate wiped clean, taking away that old arrest warrant and blotting it out.”(Colossians 2:13-14).
2. “Aphiemi” = (the other Greek word translated as forgive, used 46 times in NT); to release a debt; to send away; to let go; to remove a burden; to cancel what is owed by another; to set someone free from an obligation; to generously remove the penalties associated with a person’s wrongdoing. “… forgive us our debts (“aphiemi”), as we also have forgiven (“aphiemi’) our debtors .” (Matthew 6:12); “… forgive (“aphiemi”) us our sins, for we ourselves forgive (“aphiemi”) everyone who is indebted to us.” (Luke 11:4).

In Other Words, Forgiveness is… to let an offense go, to no longer hold an offense against someone, without bringing it up again; to decide to put a wrong done to you on the back shelf and move on; to give up the right to justly punish someone in your heart; to send away from your spirit the right to hold a grudge, or keep score, or seek revenge, or stand in ultimate judgment of a person who has offended you; to release God’s grace to go to work in an offender as well as in you the offended one; to freely pardon someone’s offense and thereby create a space in the heart of both parties for the Holy Spirit to do His transforming work; to embrace the divine process whereby forgiveness of others is how we live into God’s forgiveness of us; to work out and put into action God’s forgiveness of us by our forgiveness of others; to generously demonstrate an act of merciful lovingkindness that cancels the penalties of the wrongs done to us.

“Behold, how wonderful, how delightful it is for God’s people to dwell together in harmony!.. How good and pleasant it is when brothers and sisters live together in unity… Oh, how good and merry it is when brothers and sisters live together in peace.” (Psalm 133:1).

The Neuroscience of Forgiveness and Shalom. In the 1980’s there were popular anti-drug commercials on television that had a man warning the viewers… “See this egg? This is your brain. See this hot frying pan? That’s drugs. And now look at this frying egg in the hot pan… That’s right, this is your brain on drugs.” And now let’s do a modern commercial about forgiveness… “See this fertile plot of land? That’s your brain. See this flourishing garden on that plot of land? That’s your act of forgiveness after someone offended you.” The point of this commercial would be that the healthiest activity we could do for our brain is to develop a heart of forgiveness. The latest brain studies have shown that we are each wired to think best, to operate at our highest psychological level, when engaging in forgiveness. Literally, when we forgive someone, our brain deactivates its pain network, lessens  the mind’s craving for revenge, shuts down the pleasure/reward system for addictions, and erases its decision to acting out grievances. When we forgive, there are neurological benefits such as reactivating our prefrontal cortex for more advanced thinking, and restoring the brain’s self-control circuitry. Our God-designed brains function best when we forgive others of insults, offensive put-downs, unfair treatment, and hurtful actions or comments directed our way. Not only that, but when there is reconciliation, which is often the next step after forgiveness, the brain activates the “feel-good” neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which leads to the self-sustaining pleasures of increased concentration, improved memory, lower blood pressure, and enhanced cognitive flexibility. Unresolved conflicts trigger the brain’s regions that cause fuzzy thinking, mental fatigue, and reduced cognitive function. Harmony with others through forgiveness and peace-making creates the optimal conditions for brain function, mental clarity, and wiser decision-making. Our greatest gift in our human body, our brain, is designed by God to operate most effectively when we forgive others and live in peace with one another.

One Another. What does it look like to dwell in unity, to live together with harmony, to be a community anointed with the oil of the Holy Spirit? It might be helpful to look at the “one anothers” in Scripture and find a glimpse of what it takes to live in harmony. With the transforming power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, we can indeed enjoy a life together that reflects the eternal Kingdom of God, a community that has a heart for one another.

1. Forgive One Another. “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in the Anointed One has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness is… to let an offense go, to no longer hold an offense against someone, without bringing it up again; to decide to put a wrong done to you on the back shelf and move on; to give up the right to justly punish someone in your heart; to send away from your spirit the right to hold a grudge, or keep score, or seek revenge, or stand in ultimate judgment of a person who has offended you; to release God’s grace to go to work in an offender as well as in you the offended one; to freely pardon someone’s offense and thereby create a space in the heart of both parties for the Holy Spirit to do His transforming work; to embrace the divine process whereby forgiveness of others is how we live into God’s forgiveness of us; to work out and put into action God’s forgiveness of us by our forgiveness of others; to generously demonstrate an act of merciful lovingkindness that cancels the penalties of the wrongs done to us. “If one of you has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.” (Colossians 3:13).
2. Harmonize with One Another. “Live in harmony with one another.” (Romans 12:16, NIV). When separate parts intentionally combine into a beautiful whole; to reconcile apparent differences into a combined unity; to adjust in order to fit together; to be of the same mind; to unite in the same direction in will, affection and conscience; to join together in unity of spirit and purpose, with one heart and one passion; to be agreeable and get along; mutual understanding.
3. Bear One Another’s Burdens: “Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burdens…  Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way fulfill the teaching of Christ.” ( 68:19; Galatians 6:2). To lift up and carry; to take up and walk with; to intercede for someone else, whether through prayer or caregiving, whether tangible or intangible; to relieve someone of something that weighs heavily on them.
4. Build Up One Another: “Edify one another, just as you have already been doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). To edify; to strengthen; to empower; to affirm certain qualities; to help someone or a group to grow to maturity; to construct a building, an edifice, of faith and character in another person or group.
5. Warn One Another: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom.” (Colossians 3:16). To admonish; to caution; to place into someone’s awareness; to reprove gently; to call attention to; to alert another person’s thinking; to offer sound advice and guidance.
6. Encourage One Another: “Let us encourage one another.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). To “paraclete” each other: Called to come alongside someone in need, in order to help and bear burdens by Pointing to God, Advising, Reminding, Advocating for, Comforting, Listening, Exhorting, Teaching and Encourage. That is the helping style, the method of influence that is intended for the benefit of every person being empowered by the Spirit. One Bible translator summed all these qualities up by simply naming the paraclete “Friend,” each believer’s intimate, supportive presence who befriends us on life’s journey.
7. Restore One Another: “If someone in the fellowship is overtaken by some sin or mistake, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” (Galatians 6:1). To set right; to repair; to refit; to mend; to rejoin; to bring back to its original state; to heal.
8. Honor One Another: “Take delight in honoring each other.” (Romans 12:10). To show deference to; to prefer over one’s self; to highly esteem; to greatly respect; to revere; to focus on the importance of another.
9. Bear With One Another: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2). To put up with; to make allowances for; to willingly endure; forbearance; to tolerate; to have patience with; to accept someone despite their weaknesses.
10. Exhort One Another: “If your gift is to come alongside others to exhort them, then give yourself to exhortation.” (Romans 12:8). To urge to continue in the Faith; to beseech in strong terms; to come alongside to offer encouraging guidance; to inspire courage and hope; to call upon someone to act; to give affirming words that strengthens others.
11. Confess to One Another: “Confess your sins to each other.” (James 5:16). To acknowledge openly; to freely admit to wrongdoing; to announce one’s guilt; to concede one’s shortcomings; to repent of sins; to agree with God that one’s sin is a sin.
12. Wash One Another’s Feet: “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:14-15). A simple act of hospitality; a house servant’s task; involves placing someone else’s dirty, smelly feet into a bowl of water and carefully using one’s hands to cleanse those feet of all dirt, grime and sweat, and then drying the feet with a clean towel; a common, menial act of service and humility; exercising the ministry of touch to the untouchable; the powerful sacrament of servanthood.
13. Love One another. “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Agape-Love each other. Just as I have agape-loved you, you should agape-love each other.” (John 13:34-35). Summing up all the one anothers, Agape love is the supreme of all the loves, and desires the highest good of someone else. Agape is “the highest level of love known to humanity,” (C. S. Lewis), and thus can only come from above with God as its source. Agape love is the ultimate expression of God’s nature, the essence of His character (see Exodus 34). Agape love is not Eros, which is romantic love. It is not Phileo, which is brotherly love. It is not Storge, which is family love. Agape love is the divine love that can only come to us from the heart of God. Agape love is the love shared between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God is truly the source of all these other loves, but it is only agape love that is poured into our hearts from the Holy Spirit, to those who believe in Christ. Agape love is an eternal virtue outlasting all the other virtues (1 Corinthians 13:8). Agape love is the primary fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) Agape love, the sacred love of God, is universal, it is a gift, it is highly active, it is sacrificial, and it is unconditional.

“Behold! Look, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers and sisters to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, running down on the edge of his garments. It is like the dew of Hermon, descending upon the mountains of Zion; For there the Lord commanded the blessing – Life forevermore.”  (Psalm 133). 

Oil and Harmony. How precious life is when people live together in harmony. This psalm reflects a warm, quiet joy as we imagine anointing oil coming down over the head, over the beard and onto the robe, a sustained blessing by the Lord. People living together in peace and unity is also a sustained blessing and the high point of Christian community, the sign that the Lord is present in the community. Aaron was the first person to be anointed with oil in Scripture. The oil that Moses used to anoint Aaron as high priest (Ex. 29:7) was costly, pure, scented, sacred, and purposeful. Living in harmony with others is just as precious, pleasant, life-giving and meaningful. Oil is what set apart Aaron and made him holy. Oil is what consecrated Aaron. In the same way, harmony is what sets the Christian apart from the world. Harmony is what is distinctive and makes the believers sacred. To live in harmony, brothers and sisters see each other as priests, with the unifying oil of love flowing down each believer, saturating the whole body to the hem of the robe.

Anointing Oil and the Aroma of the Anointed One. Harmony, like fragrantly scented oil, spreads its perfume outwardly. When Christians love each other and are of the same mind and working together, that love spreads to all who can see it. The anointing oil of harmony spreads the aroma of Christ (2 Cor. 2:15). The early church leader Origen once said that the perfume of the knowledge of God is pervasive in the world, thanks to “the mystery of the anointing in which all Christians share; Jesus received the anointing with the oil of gladness in all its fullness. Those who are partakers in Jesus, each according to his own measure, partake also in His anointing. Since Christ is in fact the Head of the Church which forms one single body with Him, the precious oil poured upon the Head, runs down to Aaron’s beard and all the way to the very fringes of His garment.” Fr. Cantalamessa follows up that idea with this thought: “The Holy Spirit is the precious ointment that is poured out on the head of the new High Priest who is Christ Jesus; from Him, the Head, it spreads like a soaking oil down through His body, the Church, to the very hem of its garment, there where the Church touches the world.” (R. Cantalamessa, Come, Creator Spirit).

“Beloved friends, let us agape-love one another; because agape-love is from God. Everyone who agape-loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him. Those who refuse to agape-love don’t know the first thing about God, because God is agape-love – So you can’t know Him if you don’t agape-love.” (1 John 4:7-8).