(7.) The Gospel Story of Tobit: Golden Advice from Father to Son

(7.) The Gospel Story of Tobit: Golden Advice from Father to Son.

“The level of testosterone in any boy – and the way that testosterone affects him – has less impact on his behavior than how the boy is loved, nurtured, and shaped by his parents and by the context of the society within which he lives. The hormone may well predict a certain type of energy in boys, but the way in which that energy is funneled and expressed lies in our hands.” (Dr. William Pollack, Real Boys).

Father Tobit’s Words of Wisdom to His Son Tobias. Once the father realized he needed to send his son to Media, which is modern-day Iraq, he wouldn’t let his boy go without a fatherly teaching, a firehose stream of wise advice. This adventure was to retrieve some money that Tobit had invested there a long time ago, as well as to see about Sarah as Tobias’ bride in order to continue the family line. It was forbidden for Tobias to marry a foreign woman who was naturally outside the covenant people, the Chosen People, and so he was first in line to marry the most eligible woman in Tobias’ lineage. They were distant cousins, to be sure, but completely available to each other for the sacred Jewish marriage. Before Tobis had his foot out the door to Media, Tobias felt it crucial that he offer his son some words of wisdom as he embarked on this adventure. Oh, if only fathers everywhere could offer these words to their sons, the world would be a much different place:

4:3 =  “Honor your mother in everything you do, all the days of your life;”

4:5 = “Remember the Lord our God all your days, keep Him in mind and be faithful to Him. Never entertain the desire to sin or disobey His commandments. Do righteousness and good works all the days of your life, and do not walk in the ways of wrongdoing;”

4:6 = “If you are steadfast to walk in the truth, if you act in truthfulness, you will be successful in all your works as everyone is who practices what is upright;” 

4:7 = “Do almsgiving from your possessions to all who do righteousness. When you do almsgiving, do not let your eye be envious. Do not turn your face away from any poor man, so the face of God will not be turned away from you;”

4:8-9 = “Measure your alms by what you have. If you have much, give more out of your abundance. If you have little, do not be afraid to give less in ams. So doing, you will be storing up a great treasure for yourself in the day of adversity;” 

4:10-11 = “For almsgiving delivers us from death and prevents us from entering into the darkness. Indeed, almsgiving is a most effective offering and a good gift for all who do it in the presence of the Most High;”

4:12 = “My son, guard yourself against every form of immorality, from all fornication and loose conduct. Above all take a wife from your father’s lineage, because we are the children of the prophets;”

4:13 = “So now, my son, love your kinsman and do not be arrogant in your heart against them, the sons and daughters of your people. Choose your wife from among them. For pride brings disorder, ruin and much worry;”

4:13b = “Idleness causes need and poverty, for the mother of famine is idleness;”

4:14a = “Do not hold back the wages of your workers overnight, but pay him immediately. If you serve God, He will pay you and you will be rewarded;” 

4:14b = “Give heed to yourself, my son, in all your works; be careful in all you do; be well-disciplined in all your conduct;” 

4:15a = “What you yourself hate, do not do to anyone; do to no one what you would not want done to you;” 

4:15b = “Do not drink wine to the point of drunkenness, and do not let drunkenness become your traveling companion;”

4:16 = “Give your bread to those who are hungry; and from your clothing, give to the naked. If you have more than you need, do almsgiving, and when you give alms, do it ungrudgingly;” 

4:17 = “Be generous with bread and wine on the graves of upright people in memory of them, but do not honor the sinners in this way;”

4:18 = “Seek counsel from every wise and sensible person, and do not treat any useful advice with contempt or scorn;” 

4:19 = “At every opportunity bless the Lord God, but more than this ask Him to guide your ways, that your actions may become straight, and that your paths and purposes may prosper;”

4:20a = “Not every nation has understanding or wisdom, but their desire for what is good is conferred by the Lord. The Lord Himself gives all that is good, and at His will He lifts up or He casts down to the depths of the dwelling of the dead;”

4:20b = “Now my son, let none of my commandments fade away or be removed from your heart;” 

4:21 = “Do not fear, my son, that we have become poor. For you are very rich if you fear God, stay away from every kind of sin, and if you do what is pleasing to the Lord your God.”

Tobias Responds: “O father, I will do everything you have commanded me!” (5:1).

The Golden Rule. Tobit underlines the ancient, universal ethical ideal in 4:15, smack dab in the middle of his fatherly instructions to his son Tobis before his grand adventure to find money for his father and a wife for himself. The Golden Rule has been found in ancient documents in various religions around the world… from China and Greece around 500 BC, to Egypt and India around 400 BC, to rabbinic sources in Judaism around 100 BC. At latest count, some version of the Golden Rule has been discovered in thirteen different faith traditions and many other cultures as well. For the most part, the Golden Rule had been stated in a negative sense, “What you do not want done to others, do not do to others” (Confucius), or “That which you hate to be done to you, do not do to others” (Egypt). But in His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus of Nazareth put a whole different spin on the old concept by putting the Golden Rule in a positive way: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12). It appears that Jesus wanted to raise the bar on what He expects of his followers. He wanted to make the age-old ideal even more demanding, since it’s far easier to refrain from hurting others than it is to initiate good deeds towards them. Jesus emphasized doing the positive deeds to benefit others and not just avoiding the hurtful actions that harm others. He wanted to focus on the good things to do for others instead of centering on the evil things not to do to others. The Golden Rule can be seen as a powerful piece of common grace offered to all humanity from the God of all wisdom. It is a one-size-fits-all ideal that the Lord wanted to drop into every society, faith and culture because it would go far in helping His creation to flourish.

Another Wording of the Golden Rule. The kernel of truth that hides in the heart of the Golden Rule was actually spoken long before Confucious and Thales and Hillel. In the teachings of Moses in the Torah are these words which basically say the same thing in different words… “Love your neighbor as you would love yourself.” (Leviticus 19:18). This word of the Lord had been the gold standard in ethical teaching for centuries in Judaism, and once again it was highlighted by rabbi Jesus in His ministry on earth…

The Second Half of the Greatest Commandment. In the gospel of Luke chapter 10, a lawyer comes to Jesus to put him to the test. A lawyer at that time was an expert on Jewish law, a scholar of the Jewish religion. This lawyer asked a theological question to spur debate, to stimulate a religious conversation. The lawyer wanted to see not only how orthodox Jesus was in his beliefs, but also to tempt Jesus into giving a controversial answer to a difficult question. The scholar “stood up” to address Jesus, much like a student of that time always stood up when talking with a teacher, out of humility and respect. He then referred directly to Jesus as Teacher, or Rabbi. Jesus had evidently earned the lawyer’s respect through his words and actions. Jesus took the question seriously. The lawyer asked what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus referred him to Scripture, and the lawyer gave the best answer possible, the Shema, found in Deuteronomy 6:5. The Shema is the 1st prayer taught to children in a Jewish household, and it is prayed twice daily by every believing Jew, every sunrise and every sunset. Love your God, with everything you got, heart, soul, strength, mind, everything. The lawyer then adds what he has certainly heard Jesus teach about many other times, Leviticus 19:18, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus praises the lawyer and says, “That’s it! Good job! Now go and do what the scripture says.” In other words, Jesus is saying that it is not enough to simply believe the right words, to include those words as a part of the law. You must also demonstrate through action that those words are true in your life. His literal response to the lawyer reads, “Do this, and you will come alive,” or “Do this, and you are living.”

In Other Words. The Golden Rule has been revealed as a fundamental social ethic all through human history: The way in which one wants to be treated should determine the way that one treats others. Or perhaps you like the other version better: Love your neighbor the way you love yourself. There are many different ways we could express this most important moral instruction from Moses and Jesus…

• When we treat others the way we want to be treated, we end up loving our neighbor the way we love ourselves;
• Treat others with their well-being in mind as you treat yourself with your well-being in mind;
• Love your neighbor with the same love you show for yourself, treating them with compassion, dignity and respect;
• However you wish to be treated by others is how you should treat everyone else;
• Grow in loving your neighbor just as you are learning to love yourself;
• Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them;
• Show grace to others in their weak moments with the same grace you hope to receive in your weak moments;
• Will the ultimate good for others as you desire the ultimate good for yourself;
• Think of the kindness you wish others would show you, and do the same for them;
• Care for the poor and needy the same way you would want others to care for you if you were poor and needy;
• Protect and provide for your neighbor as you would protect and provide for yourself.
• It is natural to want what’s best for ourselves, so it needs to be natural for us to want what’s best for our neighbors.
• Because we are made in the image of God, we each have a healthy self-love; our neighbors have the same sacred status, so they deserve a healthy neighbor-love.

The Golden Rule in the Early Church. The leaders in the early Jesus movement said much the same thing. In the first known church instructions manual in the first century, the “Didache,” up front and center are the familiar words, “In everything, do not do to another what you would not want done to you.”  And of course St. Paul repeats this principal twice for us… “The whole law has found its fulfillment in this one saying, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14); and in Romans 13:9-10, “The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; ‘you shall not murder’; ‘you shall not steal’; ‘you shall not covet’; and any other commandment there may be are all summed up in this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love never wrongs a neighbor, therefore love fulfills the law.”