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The Wisdom and Folly of Silence and Speech

The Wisdom and Folly of Silence and Speech

The Wisdom and Folly of Silence and Speech.

Wisdom = Understanding and discernment; the practical art of living skillfully; moral and spiritual intelligence; the ability to practice the truth in daily life; astute insight; shrewd street smarts; the ability to apply relevant knowledge to thoughtful decision-making; to think ahead with foresight and anticipate the consequences of actions; to fully appreciate the difference between wise and foolish, right and wrong, beautiful and ugly, good and evil, true and false; to demonstrate a practical spirituality; to live into Wisdom itself, the Person of Jesus the Anointed One.

Foolishness According to Scripture: A fool is a person who doesn’t know what is best for himself; who doesn’t learn from mistakes; who is habitually rebellious; who does not consider the consequences of his behavior; who stubbornly remains unteachable; who is content with self-satisfied ignorance; who ignores counsel and discipline; who pridefully rejects a reverence for God; who has access to the truth but rejects it; who is impulsive and unable to control emotions; who is not concerned about moral blindness; who is unaware of his self-destructive lifestyle; who does not recognize the need to change his thinking and behavior; who is gullible, naïve and dim-witted.

WHEN SPEECH IS WISE: Sometimes we speak, but we all need to think twice before speaking. Discern the right time to speak up, whether during confession to God or to those whom you have hurt; or advocating for those who can’t speak for themselves; or praising the Lord in full voice; or offering words of truth, love and encouragement; or having meaningful conversations with others. In many cases, though, keeping a thoughtful silence has been considered virtuous since ancient times. Our speech is wise when we speak with:

Words that Sustain the Weary. “The Sovereign Lord, Adonai-Yahweh, the Owner of all creation and the Great I AM who is gloriously Self-Existent and beyond compare, Who has given me an instructed tongue, a God-given, anointed and heaven-taught instrument of righteousness that is poised to offer words that are able to encourage, comfort and strengthen those who are exhausted and find life burdensome. These healing words of mine that wisely sustain the weary are first granted by the Lord to me while listening to Him as He teaches me every day. Each morning the God of love wakes me up to listen carefully to God as He digs out of my ear whatever might be an obstacle to hearing His voice. As I receive what He has to say to me, I’m learning to listen first before I speak to others. I can’t give what I don’t have. I can only offer life-giving words at the right time after I receive those life-giving words from Him.” (a paraphrase of Isaiah 50:4).

Words that Bless Others. The Hebrew word for bless, “barak,” means to “bow the knee” in honor of someone of high value, and is a prayer to the Lord that He demonstrates favor and acceptance of another person, that God would enable that person to flourish. The Greek word for bless is “eulogia,” which means to speak a “good word” over others in seeking God’s best for them. To biblically bless others is to seek God’s favor for someone else. To bless someone is to “eulogize” that person, to speak words of encouragement, affirmation, loving acceptance. To bless others is to assure others that they are worthwhile, they are highly valued. A blessing for others often includes a focus on that person’s qualities. To bless others is to offer a eulogy in the sense that if our words of blessing are the last words someone hears, they will be certain of their being highly favored and valued by God. Praying for God to bless others in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit is to intentionally follow Jesus into his lifestyle of blessing. By blessing others, we participate with Jesus in His public ministry.

Blessing Others by Praying the Word. Have you ever been at a loss in figuring out how to bless others in a meaningful way, to warmly accept that person, and pray God’s best for that person? Whether the person being blessed is a child, a sibling, a spouse, a parent, a friend, or even a total stranger who invites a blessing, what words should be used in the blessing? If words fail you… think about this. What better way to speak a blessing over others than to pray His inspired Word?  How can there possibly be a more effective and fruitful way of blessing others than with the inspired Scriptures? Praying the Scripture is praying into the mind of God, to pray into His thinking using His inspired words. To pray the Word is to pray in the spirit of the Spirit. To pray the Scripture is to pray according to His established will. Praying His Word over others puts our thoughts into better expression than our own words, though God wants those too. Unlike many of us, God loves to be quoted, because He fully knows His words bring life. Biblical blessings are “good words” spoken over another person, are literally inspired by the Holy Spirit, and thus will not return to God empty.  “For as rain and snow fall from the heavens and return not again without watering the earth, bringing forth life and giving growth, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, it is the same with my Word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. My Word will not return to me empty, but will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” (Isaiah 55:10-11). St. Paul seems to specialize in words of blessing, and all of these biblical blessings are intended to work wonders in the  lives of those being blessed:

  1. Numbers 6:24-26, the ancient Aaronic blessing that has stood the test of time;
  2. Ephesians 1:17-20, for the spirit of wisdom, revelation and power;
  3. 1 Peter 5:10-11, for grace during a time of suffering;
  4. Colossians 1:9-12, for knowledge of God’s will and joyful endurance;
  5. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17, for comfort, love and hope;
  6. Ephesians 3:16-19, for a complete understanding of God’s love;
  7. Philippians 1:9-11, for depth of insight, purity and righteousness;
  8. Colossians 2:2-3, for a full understanding of the mystery of Christ;
  9. Romans 15:13, for an overflowing hope, joy and peace;
  10. Philippians 4:7, for God’s peace to keep a person in the knowledge and love of Him;
  11. 2 Corinthians 13:14, for the ongoing presence of Christ’s grace, God’s love, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

The Wisdom of Silence: Yes, there are times when silence is golden. The virtues of silence are many… a time of a healing presence during those moments when words are inadequate or get in the way; a space of time to consider the consequences before an action; a reflective time before speaking difficult or crucial words; a time of thoughtful musing to bring clarity to what one is actually thinking; a needed pause button to bring down the temperature during a conversation; a valuable time to listen and learn; a moment of hesitation to check one’s motivations; a time to share the stage during a discussion and honor the other person as someone whose thinking is just as important as ours; a time to think of sensible questions to ask in response to another’s comments; a respectful act for another who needs silence and an absence of noise to think; moments of comfortable silence between friends to simply enjoy each other’s company. Silence does not have to be emptiness, or an uncomfortable time that has to be urgently filled. Silence can be a meaningful time that serves a deep purpose… Not a time of emptiness, but instead a time of fullness.

The Resounding Silence of Jesus. Many times during His ministry, Jesus chose to be verbal, sometimes downright wordy. He spent a lot of His time teaching about the Kingdom; He commanded many a demon out of those helplessly possessed; He silenced the religious  authorities countless times with clever wordplay and quoting Scriptures; He angrily shouted out the Temple moneychangers and backed it up with physical action; He endlessly excoriated the Pharisees in Matthew 23; He tenderly spoke words of comfort, encouragement and forgiveness when needed. So it wasn’t that Jesus was highly reticent and shy about speaking a word in due season. He was in full control of His speech. As Job asked after being silenced by God’s greatness: “If God chooses to remain silent, who is fit to raise his voice against Him or criticize Him?” (Job 34:29). Our wise God perfectly discerns when to speak and when to remain silent. Jesus unerringly picked His spots when choosing to be speechless:

  1. Silent before the Soldiers Beating Him: ‘Now the men who were holding Jesus in custody were mocking Him as they beat Him. They also blindfolded Him and kept asking Him, ‘Prophesy! Who is it that struck you?’ And they said many other things against Him, blaspheming Him. (Luke 22:63-65);
  2. Silent before the High Priest and the Sanhedrin. “Those who had seized Jesus led him to Caiaphas, where the scribes and the elders had gathered. All the chief priests and the Sanhedrin council were seeking false testimony against Jesus that they might put Him to death, but they found none. For many bore false witness against Jesus, but their testimonies did not agree. The high priest stood up and said, ‘Have you no answer to make? What is it these men testify against you?’ But Jesus remained silent and made no answer.” (Matthew 26:57-63; Mark 14:53-61).
  3. Silent before Pontius Pilate. “Now Jesus stood before the governor Pilate, and the governor asked Him, ‘Are you the King of the Jews?’ Jesus answered him, ‘You have said so.’ But when Jesus was accused by the chief priests and elders, He gave no answer. So Pilate asked Jesus, ‘Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?’ But Jesus gave no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was filled with wonder, marveling in complete amazement (“thaumazo”). (Matthew 27:11-14). [“Thaumazo” is a strong Greek word that means… marveled at, astonished by; amazed at; filled with wonder to the point of being bewildered; being awestruck in admiration. There were forty-four “thaumazo” passages in the gospels in which people marveled at Jesus, were greatly amazed by Jesus, astonished to the point of being awed by Him].
  4. Silent before the Governor’s Soldiers Tormenting Him. “Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor’s headquarters, and they gathered the whole battalion of 600 soldiers before Him. They stripped Jesus and put a scarlet robe on Him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on His head and put a reed in His right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, ‘Hail, King of the Jews!’ And they spit on Him and took the reed and struck Him in the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped Him of the robe and put His own clothes on Him and led Him away to crucify Him.” (Matthew 27:27-31).
  5. Silent before Herod, the Ruler of Galilee. “When Herod saw Jesus, he was very glad, for he had long desired to see Him, because he had heard about Jesus, and he was hoping to see some miracle or sign done by Him. So he questioned Jesus at some length, but Jesus made no answer. And Herod with his soldiers treated Jesus with contempt and mocked Him. Then, arraying Him in splendid clothing to mock His claim to kingship, Herod sent Him back to Pilate.” (Luke 22:6-11).
  6. Silent before the Lynch Mob. “They all cried out together, ‘Away with this man, and release to us Barabbas!’ Pilate addressed the crowd once more, desiring to release Jesus, but they kept shouting, ‘Crucify him! Crucify him!’ They were urgent, demanding with loud cries that Jesus should be crucified. And their voices prevailed… And Pilate delivered Jesus over to their will.” (Luke 23:18-25).
  7. Silent on the Cross before the Scoffers. “Those who passed by Jesus on the cross derided Him, wagging their heads and saying, ‘You who would destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross!’ So also the chief priests with the scribes and elders mocked Him, saying, ‘He saved others, but He cannot save Himself! He is the King of Israel, so let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe Him! He trusts in God, so let God deliver Him now!” (Matthew 27:39-45; Luke 23:35-37).

When Silence is Foolish. “For everything there is a season, a right time for every activity under heaven… A time to be quiet and a time to speak up, a time for silence and a time for words.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). Silence is definitely foolish when it is hurtfully used as the weapon of the “silent treatment.” Silence is not a way to punish someone else, or demonstrate rejection of who they are, what they have said or done. Silence as a passive way to show aggression is foolish. The Books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are famous for their focus on speech and silence and the wisdom and foolishness of each. Here’s a survey of these words of Solomon that are truly words to the wise:

  1. “The tongue of the wise bring healing; the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.” (Prov. 12:18, 10:11);
  2. “Don’t impulsively shoot off your mouth or be hasty to speak before you think. Don’t be too quick to tell God what you think He wants to hear. God’s in charge, not you – The less you speak, the better. Don’t say any more than you have to, since a fool’s voice is with a multitude of words.” (Eccl. 5:2);
  3. “The more you talk, the more likely you are to cross the line and say the wrong thing. If you are wise, you will keep quiet. The wise know how to measure their words, and the sensible person knows when to bite his tongue.” (Proverbs 10:19);
  4. “You who have understanding will hold your tongue, and you who have good sense will know when to keep quiet. It is foolish and heartless to speak scornfully of your neighbor. If you’re smart, you will be a friend of silence.” (Prov. 11:12);
  5. “You who guard your speech and keep a watch on your mouth will preserve your life; but you who talk too much without thinking, or speak carelessly with your lips open wide, may destroy yourself and eventually come to ruin.” (Prov. 13:3);
  6. “You who are righteous and lovers of God know how to think carefully before speaking and ponder your answers; you who are careless tend to blurt out wicked words meant to cause harm, overflowing with evil speech.” (Prov. 15:28);
  7. “You who have great knowledge control your tongue and use words with restraint. Those who are sure of themselves do not need to talk all the time. You who know how to stay calm and control your temper are the ones who have real insight and wisdom.” (Prov. 17:27);
  8. “Even fools are considered wise if they know how to keep quiet, for when he keeps his mouth shut he appears to be clever.” (Prov. 17:28);
  9. “You are a fool if you only take pleasure in expressing your opinion rather than seeking understanding.” (Prov. 18:2);
  10. “By talking, a fool’s words get him into constant quarrels and arguments, and he simply is asking for a beating. Do him a favor and gag him. In fact, a fool’s mouth is his ruin, and when he speaks, he only destroys himself and his lips end up being a trap and a snare for his soul.” (Prov. 18:6-7);
  11. “If you give an answer before listening, speaking before you’ve heard the facts or before trying to understand what the other is saying, you will certainly bring folly, shame and humiliation upon yourself.” (Prov. 18:13);
  12. “Watch your words, set a guard over your mouth, and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief and trouble.” (Prov. 21:23);
  13. “Winsome words spoken at just the right time are as appealing as apples gilded in gold and surrounded with silver.” (Prov. 25:11);
  14. “You are a fool if you unleash all your anger without thinking and lose your temper; you are wise if you learn to quietly mull things over and silently hold your anger in check.” (Prov. 29:11);
  15. “If you have been foolish enough to arrogantly exalt yourself over others, to boorishly call attention to yourself by offending others, learn to clamp your hand tightly over your mouth, to stop talking and start thinking.” (Prov. 30:32).

Taming the Tongue: Words Matter. “If we are able to bridle the words we say, we are powerful enough to control ourselves in every way, and that means our character is mature and fully developed.”  (James 3:2).

Small things can wield amazing power. If you want to guide a huge horse, all it takes is a little bit and bridle. If you want to direct a big boat, just use a little rudder. If you want to master self-control, learn to tame the tiny tongue. Learning to control one’s speech enables that person to develop self-control in every other way. If you win the victory of taming the tongue, the rest of your impulses will be much easier, for the tongue is the most difficult to control. In fact, control of one’s words is the most difficult aspect of character development. Only fully mature people can consistently discern the right words to say, and the right spirit with which to say them.

  1. The tongue is a restless flame. Words can ignite a raging forest fire that burns out of control and does irreparable damage. And words can also use this same flame to helpfully light a candle in a dark room. Some fires cannot be snuffed out easily if at all. Candlelight or forest fire, it all depends on how the tongue is used. Words are powerful.
  2. The tongue is a tiny muscle with superpowers. It can do vast harm or extreme good. Words can destroy a reputation (one’s own or someone else’s); heal a grievous wound; lead people astray; speak the truth; utter lies and deceit; mend a broken heart; permanently inflict a wound; bless God and others; curse God and others. The tongue is small but is muscle-bound, and can do mighty things for good or ill.
  3. The tongue is a hungry snake, able to spit out poison. The snake in the mouth needs to be starved of all that keeps it alive. Deceit, selfishness, unforgiveness, dishonesty, bitterness, hostility… all those words feed the snake. Starve the snake with words of goodness, truth and compassion, and the poisonous words will cease. When the snake is dead of starvation, your words will be pure.
  4. The tongue is a wild animal. It can be unpredictable when not tamed, and it can cause significant damage when not under control. When tamed, the tongue can be more like a household pet, loved by everyone, obedient to the master’s commands, a helpful servant of the master. When we learn to tame its wildness, the tongue will be predictable in how it is used.
  5. The tongue is a spotless mirror that reflects human nature. We are made in God’s image, and our words can be noble and wise. We are also, though, still carrying the vestiges of our fallen nature, and so our words can be deceitful and foolish. The further we are in the process of sanctification, the purer our words become. Our words reflect our progress on the path to spiritual maturity.
  6. The mouth is a one-way door, and the only direction is outward. Once a word escapes your lips, you can never take those words back in. Spoken words escape the mouth and are out there in the air and will either bring harm or healing, deceit or truth. The door of the mouth locks from the inside. If the words are wounding, they can cripple. If the words are life-giving, they can lead to flourishing. Words bring life to another’s spirit, or words can bring death to that spirit.

“The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.”  (Proverbs 15:28; MSG).

 

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