10. The Parent’s Privilege: Gifting the Faith to Children by Waiting Up

10. The Parent’s Privilege: Gifting the Faith to the Children by Waiting Up.

Prodigal Son – The Petersens (LIVE) – YouTube

“So the prodigal son set off for home from the far country. Because his father was patiently waiting for him, he saw the son coming down the road from a long distance away. The father was deeply moved with compassion (“splagchnizomai”) for his son, deep down in the pit of his stomach. The father’s heart was overflowing with love for him, this rebellious son who was finally returning home. So the father raced out to meet him. He swept his son up in his arms, hugged him dearly, and covered him with kisses.” (Luke 15:20).

splagchnizomai  (splawnk – NITZ – oh – mi). Don’t let that strange Greek word put you off. It turns out to be one of the most meaningful ideas in the gospels, and it describes Jesus to a T. Most Bible versions translate this word to mean “moved with compassion.” But somehow that translation doesn’t quite do it justice. One might even say it doesn’t go deep enough. The literal meaning of this word is “to have one’s bowels yearn,” which makes sense since the root word for it is “intestines.” Since the innermost organs were considered at that time to be the seat of human emotions, and since love is the emotion being implied, splagchnzomai could be understood as an experience in which true compassion has its beginnings from down deep in the gut. This word points to an intense emotional experience that is felt in the pit of one’s stomach. This profound compassion is not superficial by any means, not casual, not distant. This compassion is immediate and so deeply felt that it demands action. This compassion is so visceral that it must find an outlet, a target, in doing something physical and helpful.

The Gut of Christ. As we deepen our union with Christ, as we live into His reality and character, we also live into His compassion, into being deeply moved to our very innards. As theologian Jeff McSwain once said, “If we truly are ‘in Christ,’ then just as we’ve been given the mind of Christ, we’ve also been given the ‘gut’ of Christ.” Every Christian, being a little Christ, will live into the possession of the sensitive gut of Jesus.

Deeply Moved. The gospel writers recorded Jesus as using the important truth of this gut-word in three of His famous parables: The Unforgiving Servant, the Good Samaritan, and the Prodigal Son. The gospel authors wrote this word down in each story because they knew that Jesus had demonstrated it during his ministry, and in fact was very intentional about incorporating it into His parables. The gospel writers were inspired, and they read the mind of Jesus as they recorded His stories. This crucial character quality, this ability to be deeply moved with compassion, is woven into the very nature of God, and we notice that in each of these three parables it was the God-figure who experienced it… The gut-punch of love, compassion felt in the pit of the stomach, the intense emotion deeply inward that produced the compassion that characterized the Lord. The Son of God was often deeply moved in His time on earth, and it was important that these pictures of God in the stories also were deeply moved in compassion. Jesus was a Man who felt compassion deep in His gut, and He loved telling stories in which that gut feeling was an important factor.

Welcome Home | The Altar Music

The Story of the Prodigal Son. The parables of the “lost things” in Luke 15 spiral down to the final figure who is truly lost. In the first parable there is the lost sheep, 1 out of 100; then there is the lost coin, 1 out of 10; then there is the lost younger son, 1 out of 2; finally, there is the lost older son, 1 out of 1. Everything that Jesus had told with his cluster of “lost” parables seem to point to the really lost one, the self-righteous, self-absorbed, externally religious and dutiful one. The first three parables were told for the benefit of this fourth story of the prodigal son. Jesus told these parables to the Pharisees, in response to their judging and grumbling, the story that will, if they are humbly listening, cut to their hearts like a knife, will command their attention like a big firecracker. Jesus meant for the grousing Pharisees to see themselves in the older brother. They are to take this part of the story personally.

“No one knows the Son except the Father, just as no one knows the Father except the Son.” (Matt. 11:27).

The Father. It has been suggested that Jesus wanted to communicate the nature of His Father in this pivotal parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. Jesus here shares His own experience with Abba Father. He in effect defined the meaning and substance of the Father in this parable. In Jesus’ mind, this is what His Father looks like, a Father who is deeply moved with compassion. He in fact is redefining the inaccurate picture of the Father as an overbearing ogre full of power and authority, who loves to punish and threaten, who at times is distant and indifferent and other times a cruel taskmaster. Jesus paints a picture of the Father that contrasts with all that, a Father as Abba, a kind and forgiving God who wants what’s best for each person, a Father who genuinely cares for each person in the human family with an eternal love, who desires an intimate personal relationship with His children. Doesn’t Jesus’ picture of the Father here make you want to be His child? Consider the actions and attitude of the father in this parable:

1. A father who didn’t take offense when personally rejected by his son and asked to split his inheritance before the father even dies;
2. A father who patiently endured humiliation at having his own son waste his inheritance;
3. A father who responded with compassion when his wayward son returns home penniless;
4. A father who was actively waiting for his son to return, on a continual lookout for his defeated son, a father who seemed poised to show mercy;
5. A father who publicly degraded himself by running, which fathers aren’t supposed to do, to meet his son;
6. A father who physically embraced his wastrel son, saving him from the eventual village gauntlet;
7. A father who continued to pour out grace and compassion by repeatedly kissing his renegade son. This is a reversal of the typical scenario in which the repentant son is expected to kiss the father’s hands or feet;
8. A father who restores the prodigal son to full family status, giving him the father’s feasting robe, the family signet ring, and a pair of sandals that would distinguish the son from hired servants;
9. A father who threw a huge village feast with a fatted calf, feeding at least 100 people. Instead of rejection, the father threw a celebration;
10. A father who would absorb another public insult by leaving his post as the host at the feast in order to search for his ungrateful elder son;
11. A father who patiently accepts the elder son’s unwarranted insult and bitter attitude.

At the Table Josh Garrels – Lyrics – YouTube

Waiting Up for the Prodigals. “The living, the living, they thank you, as I am doing right now! The father shall make known Your truth and Your faithfulness, O Lord, to the children!” (Isaiah 38:19). Sometimes, many times, the parents seem to be earnestly doing their best at raising their child wisely and lovingly, and yet a mystery develops at home. Maybe it’s genetics, and the child just seems to be born stubborn, fiercely independent, resistant, or rebellious; maybe it’s the unpredictable interchange between a child’s personality, inherent weaknesses, and the cultural pressures; maybe it’s the harmful examples the child has seen outside the home in the Christian context, whether churches or youth groups; perhaps it’s the undue influence of harmful friends; maybe it’s just not the right time for such a major decision in that child’s life, as if a parent is offering a Christmas present in the middle of July; perhaps the strong possibility of spiritual warfare is also an element here; maybe it’s simple fallen free will that all humans share. Whatever it might be, when a good (and of course imperfect) parent has a prodigal child, there comes the time when all a parent can do is lovingly be available, pray with hopefulness, and watchfully wait up like the father of the prodigal son, the father who is Christ’s picture of our Father God, the Ultimate Waiting Father. If an apparent Father-of-the-Year like that somehow produces a son like the prodigal, it can happen to any parent. Actually, aren’t we all prodigals who went to the far country, and who have our Father waiting for all of us on the road back home?

The Rolling Stones – Prodigal Son (Official Lyric Video) – YouTube

Preparing to Become a Waiting Father. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger or frustrate them. Don’t exasperate them or spur them into resentment by coming down unreasonably hard on them. Instead, raise them up with loving discipline and counsel, take them by the hand and nurture your children with the instruction that brings them the revelation of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). There was a Jewish idiom during those days of Jesus’ ministry that talked about a “good eye” and an “evil eye.” The good eye referred to looking at people generously, favorably, positively. A good eye meant that a person was generous in how he or she dealt with others… Give others the benefit of the doubt. Don’t assume the worst motivation for someone’s questionable behavior. Believe the best about people, because only God knows the heart and can therefore judge rightly. Drop the critical spirit before you become an incurable cynic. Don’t jump to conclusions about a suspicious action, but learn to make reasonable allowances. If you believe the worst about people, and judge them with contempt, you are acting as if you know what people are thinking and why they are thinking it. Instead, weight your scales of justice in that person’s favor, use the scales of grace, even if we think they might not “deserve” it. Clearly, every father needs lessons on how to wisely develop a Good Eye. “So be generous with others, magnanimous even! Isn’t that how the Father treats everyone, whether we deserve it or not? He created a magnificent world for us all to enjoy, given us the very breath of life. He causes the warming sun to shine, and provides the nourishing rain as well, whether we’ve been naughty or nice, grateful or ungrateful. Really now, who do we think we are, judging our neighbor without grace like we do? Listen to our marching orders straight from the King… Love others the way that God loves us.” ( a little riff on Luke 6, Matthew 5:45, James 4:11-12, Romans 14:10, and 1 John 4:11).

Parenting in a Christian Home like Father God-Mother Hen. The Lord’s love is compared to both a father and a mother in the second Song of Moses, Deuteronomy 32: 18, “You neglected the Rock who had fathered you, you forgot the God who had given you birth.” God’s parental love and their rejection of that love highlights just how thoughtless the sins of Israel truly were. This verse continues a thread through Scripture, that the Father has a mother’s love, that the Father has a maternal side to His love. Since the Hebrew word for mercy and compassion comes from the root word for “womb,” it is easy to believe that there is something motherly about the Father’s care and compassion for each of us. God’s compassion is the same as that of a mother who loves the child she has carried and borne. Isaiah says this in 66:13: “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.” And also in Isaiah 49:15: “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Even Jesus compares Himself to a mother hen in Matthew 23:37: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” God is referred to as Father, but He often displays the heart of a mother.

Coming Home (The Prodigal Son) – Music Video – YouTube

Womb is one of the root words for mercy in the Hebrew Bible. The word “rachem” is translated in Scripture as mercy, compassion, and womb. In the Hebrew mind, the womb is much more than the sacred place in a woman that enables the unborn baby to safely develop till birth. Womb also became a metaphor for mercy because of its linguistic roots. The Hebrew word rachem is intended to mean mercy-womb. God formed each of us with rachem when we were mere unborns, and we were conceived and nourished within His rachem, the mother’s mercy-womb. The baby within the woman is the ideal time to extend God’s compassion to that human being inside of her. The developing baby utterly depends on a mercy-womb. And God wants Himself to be experienced as our womb-sanctuary, our safe place in Him, our refuge and shelter. God Himself yearns to be experienced as a womb of mercy for each of us, a refuge and shelter and safe haven. The purpose of our lives is to live in God’s rachem, God’s womb of love.

Luke 15 – Prodigal Son (Forgiving Father) || Bible in Song || Project of Love – YouTube

A Rachem at Home. We are commanded in Scripture to be merciful as the Lord is merciful. So it seems vital for each parent to show mercy to the children in their care in the spirit of rachem, to provide through our love-in-action a mercy-womb…  a safe place for the child to be fed and strengthened and cherished. Becoming a mercy-womb for their children means that parents provide a safe place through their love for each child to grow and be nurtured. Both are intended to become a shelter and refuge for their children, a womb of mercy, just like our Lord.

On Jesus as a Mother Hen. “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” (Matthew 23:37).

It shouldn’t surprise us that Jesus identified with feminine attributes, or that the Lord God is often enough referred to in feminine terms. All through Scripture, it is readily apparent that God is a Father with a mother’s heart, that Father God has a powerful maternal side to His love for us:

1. Creation. Creator God fashioned the man and the woman, male and female, after His likeness and image (Genesis 1:27). So it is reasonable to say that the distinctively feminine attributes built into the woman came from God. Our Creator was/is the source of all the distinctive qualities of a woman. From where else could she have been given her feminine attributes?
2. Moses. The Lord’s love is compared to both a father and a mother in the second Song of Moses, Deuteronomy 32:18, “You neglected the Rock who had fathered you, you forgot the God who gave you birth.” God’s parental love and His people’s rejection of that love highlights just how thoughtless the sins of Israel truly were.
3. Isaiah. This great prophet in particular liked highlighting the maternal side of the Father. In 42:14,the Lord proclaims, “For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quiet and held Myself back. But now, like a woman in childbirth, I cry out, I gasp and I pant.” In 49:14-16, the Lord said to Israel through Isaiah, “Zion has said, ‘The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me!’ But I say, Can a mother forget the baby at her breast, and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” And who could forget the profound, tender words of encouragement the Lord spoke in 66:13, “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
4. So many of the psalmists declare the tenderness of God’s love and refer to Him in feminine terms. Ps. 123:2-3 says, “The way I love you is like the way a maid waits for the orders of her mistress, carefully observing her slightest gesture. In the same way we look to you, Lord, waiting for our God to pour out His mercy upon us.” The poignant Psalm 131 says in part, “Like a contented child who sits on his mother’s lap, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord.”
5. And now we see the biblical origin of the classic “mama bear’ attribute of Father God, who protects His people like a mother with her children. “…. Like a bear robbed of her cubs, I will attack them and rip open their chest!” (Hosea 13:8).
6. “No one has ever seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, has made Him known.” (John 1:18). The idea of the bosom leans toward a feminine attribute. The Greek word is “kolpon,” and is the mysterious place deep in God’s heart that is inaccessible to everyone except His Son. Of course, since the Father and Son are there, their Holy Spirit is there as well. This room deep in His heart’s innards is the only one with the door marked “Private.” Bosom was the innermost place of the deepest relationship possible; the place of mystery inside of God where the profound union takes place; where they enjoy an complete intimate knowledge of Each Other that is reciprocal; the spiritual “womb” deep in God’s heart of hearts from which Someone is “brought forth;” the place of deepest affection, where the intimacy is reserved for the Three who are in union; it is where the Three-in-One are truly “with” each other at the deepest level possible.  In God’s heart, which is utterly holy throughout, His bosom would be considered the “Holy of Holies.”
7. In the verse above, John 1:18, we see another birthing word, “monogenes.” Begotten literally means ‘unique birth,’ a type of birthing that was truly one-of-a-kind. This is a birthing word for one who has been maternally fathered forth, revealed to the world in a completely unique way. For Jesus to be begotten means He wasn’t conceived, He wasn’t created, and there was no beginning point with Him. Instead, Jesus is eternal and was uniquely brought forth from God’s bosom in order to reveal the Father in a new way to the world. In other words, Jesus was brought forth from the bosom of the Father so that Jesus could bring forth the Father into a world that has never seen Him. So, in a sense, both Father and Son have been brought forth.
8. Born from Above. “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again from above, he cannot see the Kingdom of God… Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the Kingdom of God.” (John 3:3, 5). This entire concept is maternal and is a womanly reference to salvation itself. Somehow we are saved only after going through a birthing process with God. Interesting. It’s almost as if God Himself has a spiritual womb. The concept of being “born again” wasn’t anything new to Nicodemus, since it is an old Jewish concept. According to Judaism at that time, a practicing Jew was said to be “born again” after each of these four occasions: after a bar mitzvah at 13 years of age; after becoming married; after one becomes a rabbi; and after one is named the head of a rabbinic school. After each of those occasions, one is pronounced “born again”. Nicodemus met all four of those requirements to be born again, but of course those requirements were a natural program designed by man. There was nothing supernatural about being born again like that, it was just a natural part of their faith. When Nicodemus heard from Jesus that he needed to be born from above, he didn’t know what to think. Born from above? Yes, said Jesus, only this time it is a spiritual rebirth from above, not an ordinary rebirth according to our religion. Being truly born anew is spiritual and supernatural. Now Nicodemus might be thinking, wait a minute, is God bearing children in His kingdom? Is that what you mean?
9. Seeking the Lost.  “There was once a woman who had ten valuable silver coins. When she lost one of them, she swept her entire house, diligently searching every corner of her house for that one lost coin. When she finally found it, she gathered all her friends and neighbors for a celebration, telling them, ‘’Come and celebrate with me! I had lost my precious silver coin, but now I’ve found it!’ That’s the way God responds every time one lost sinner repents and turns to Him. He says to all His angels, ‘Let’s have a joyous celebration, for the one who was lost I have found!” (Luke 15:8-10). The woman in this parable is a metaphor for God. It would have been controversial to picture God as a woman, especially around the religious leaders. Upon hearing this little story, the Pharisees would probably have gone on a tirade. God represented by a woman? Outrageous! Evidently the scholars of Torah had forgotten all the references in the Hebrew Bible to the maternal attributes of God. Jesus’ story would have offended the sensibilities of these scholars, even though there is clear Scriptural precedence for the comparison. One wonders how they would have reacted later to Jesus’ lament over Jerusalem, wishing He were a mother hen, gathering all her lost chicks around her!

Abba: an Aramaic word that is a child’s affectionate term for father; a title that directly addresses the father in a familiar family setting, much like Dad or Papa; a word that assumes a profound personal relationship, an intimate friendship, between child and father; a believer’s term of honor and loyalty that refers to God as Beloved Father. 

What a Friend. Our friendship with God the Father is consistent with His title… He is our friend as a loving parent is to his beloved child. God is our friend like an abba is with his children. Isn’t it remarkable that Jesus wants us to know the Father like He does. Jesus wants us to experience the Father’s love the way He does. Jesus wants us to know those aspects of the Father’s character, that He is filled with grace and compassion, forgiveness and patience. Jesus wants us to be the Father’s faithful friends, His children. For that was the other half of Matthew 11:27, “But the Son is able to unveil the Father to anyone He chooses.” We can only know the Father if He is revealed. Thanks be to God, Jesus has clearly, through His life and death and resurrection, revealed God the Father to us as Someone who pursues a friendship with each of us and has adopted us into His family. “Look with wonder at the depth of the Father’s marvelous love that He has lavished on us! He has called us and made us His very own beloved children!” (1 John 3:1).

Friendship. When we become friends with God, and when a parent has a special friendship with each child in the home, the qualities of true friendship are of course present, since the whole idea of friendship was invented by and enabled by Him. God is the original source of all the qualities that make a friendship, such as: Trust and Faith in each other; Loyalty and Faithfulness to each other; Transparency and Openness with each other; Mutuality and Reciprocity between each other; Sacrifice and Self-denial for each other; Patience and Intentionality when building a friendship together; Willingness to Obey what the friend has requested to demonstrate the friend-love, the trust, and to serve the friend’s best interests.

“Kids Under Construction.” There was a popular theme in VBS about forty years ago, and it centered on each child being a work in progress, an unfinished product. That idea is true regardless of the age of the child, even into adulthood. Children of all ages required patience because God isn’t finished with them yet. All of us parents need to remember what the artist Andrew Wyeth once said, “The most irritating experience for an artist is to have his work criticized before it is finished.” In the case of each of our children, the Artist is Creator God, and it isn’t wise to reach conclusions in judging children while they’re still in the middle of their journey. In order to become a waiting father or mother, the parent needs steadfast Faith in order to trust in God’s eventual redemptive purposes for the prodigal. Each parent needs a confident Hope that envisions what the finished product will look like. Each parent needs unconditional Love that motivates a parent to watch, wait, and welcome the child’s return home.

Jeremiah 22/31 – Love, Love, and More Love || Bible in Song || Project of Love – YouTube