The Bread of Tears: Weeping with Those Who Weep

The Bread of Tears: Weeping With Those Who Weep.

“Those who sow their tears as seeds will reap a harvest with joyful shouts of glee. They may weep as they go out carrying their seed to sow, but they will return with joyful laughter and shouting with gladness as they bring back armloads of blessing and a harvest overflowing!” (Psalm 126:5-6, TPT).

The Miracle of Tears. Each of us as human beings share a spectacular miracle… We each have been gifted by our Creator God with the ability to shed tears. And not merely one type of tear, but three kinds of tears, all of them benefitting us in different ways that, being so common, are easily taken for granted. First there are the Basal tears which are constantly produced to keep our eyes lubricated and moist, and which also provide much-needed nutrients to the cornea. Secondly are the Reflex tears that are triggered by irritants which wash away debris like dust and foreign objects, sooth our eyes from smoke, and prevent further irritation by giving our eyes time to heal up from the irritation. Amazingly too, Reflex tears contain antibodies to fight bacteria and avoid infection in our eyes. Finally, there are the Emotional tears which are released during times of strong emotions both positive and negative, such as anger, joy, sorrow, relief, fear, high stress, grief, and when something  is felt deeply and needs expression. Emotional tears are a special gift of our creator God, because they contain protein-based hormones that act as natural painkillers; a higher protein content to strengthen the eyes and keep them healthy; neurotransmitters that effect the ability to remember, to learn, to focus and pay attention, and release harmful stress. Emotional tears are a divine gift because it helps us express ourselves in healthy ways that are difficult to express any other way. Regardless of the kind of tear, they all contain enzymes that promote healing and maintain the health of our eyes. All tears are basically a water-based liquid that contain .3 mg of salt which have electrolytes and salt particles like sodium, potassium, calcium and magnesium. God is certainly the Lord of the Details when it comes to something as common yet complex as human tears.

“Brothers and sisters in Christ, I beg of you to respond to God’s many mercies by surrendering your whole human nature: spiritual, physical, mental, emotional; and your entire human selves: eyes, ears, mouths, feet, and hands; offer everything of who you are to God as living sacrifices. This will set you apart and show you to be sacred, holy, and pleasing to God. Having everything about you and your lifestyle offered up to God is the most sensible and reasonable way to worship Him.” (a paraphrase of Romans 12:1).

Present Your Bodies – (Greek, “somata”), which is more literally translated as “your very selves;” Hebrew scholars say that a physical person was generally not considered broken up into parts (mind, heart, body, soul, spirit), but instead each person was considered to be one whole self as a united substance. The human body represented the whole self.

Living Sacrifice – Those who heard or read these words of Paul were probably thunderstruck by his striking metaphor of becoming a living sacrifice. Animal sacrifices were still being conducted twice a day in the Jerusalem Temple at this time, and so they, especially the observant Jew, would immediately have visceral images of animals being slain, the bleats and cries of the dying animals, the smell of blood flowing everywhere. The vivid picture of choosing to become a sacrifice surely inspired images of serious self-sacrifice and self-denial, of offering themselves up to God on life’s altar in a way that really cost them something.

Reasonable – (Greek, “logike”), which is from “logos;” our lifestyle of worship, our reasonable service to God, our logical ministry, is to be “Logos-like;” our sensible response to God’s mercies to us is that our worship of God is done according to Christ, the Logos, formed to His way of thinking and doing. The worship that makes sense is offered up to God and out to others with the Logos mind, the renewed mind, the very mind of Christ.

Love as an Incarnational Ministry. And what did this self-sacrifice actually look like? It looked like love.  A “compassion” for others that truly resulted in “suffering with” that person. An “empathy” for others that involved a “feeling into” the painful journey of someone else. Paul is leaning into the type of fleshed-out love that required some serious yet practical demands. Romans 12 is Paul’s unpacking of what it takes to be a living sacrifice, to participate in a reasonable form of worship in a way that pleases God.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be sensitive to each other’s needs.” (Romans 12:15). Share the pain of someone else’s grief. Be sad with those who are sorrowing. Honor the troubled person by deeply engaging in their suffering. Participate in bearing the other’s burden by sharing in their emotional journey. When someone else is down and out, don’t be afraid to come alongside that person and share a few tears, providing the very presence of Christ. In genuine “empathy,” be open to entering into another’s sorrow in order to share their pain. In practical “compassion,” come alongside the brokenhearted in solidarity with that person. Listen first in your search for understanding, not becoming the source for answers as much as the source of comfort and hope. Joy shared multiplies the gladness. Sorrow shared cuts the sorrow in half.

“Live in harmony with one another.” (Romans 12:16) Harmonize: When separate parts intentionally combine into a beautiful whole; to reconcile apparent differences into a combined unity; to adjust in order to fit together; to be of the same mind; to unite in the same direction in will, affection and conscience; to join together in unity of spirit and purpose, with one heart and one passion; to be agreeable and get along; mutual understanding. Weeping with others is just one example of all of Paul’s “one another’s” as Christ-followers develop a heart for one another in community:

1. Bear One Another’s Burdens: To lift up and carry; to take up and walk with; to intercede for someone else, whether through prayer or caregiving, whether tangible or intangible; to relieve someone of something that weighs heavily on them.
2. Build Up One Another: To edify; to strengthen; to empower; to affirm certain qualities; to help someone or a group to grow to maturity; to construct a building, an edifice, of faith and character in another person or group.
3. Warn One Another: To admonish; to caution; to place into someone’s awareness; to reprove gently; to call attention to; to alert another person’s thinking; to offer sound advice and guidance.
4. Encourage One Another: To “paraclete” each other: Called to come alongside someone in need, in order to help and bear burdens by Pointing to God, Advising,Reminding, Advocating for, Comforting, Listening, Exhorting, Teaching and E
5. Restore One Another: To set right; to repair; to refit; to mend; to rejoin; to bring back to its original state; to heal.
6. Honor One Another: To show deference to; to prefer over one’s self; to highly esteem; to greatly respect; to revere; to focus on the importance of another.
7. Bear With One Another: To put up with; to make allowances for; to willingly endure; forbearance; to tolerate; to have patience with; to accept someone despite their weaknesses.
8. Exhort One Another: To urge to continue in the Faith; to beseech in strong terms; to come alongside to offer encouraging guidance; to inspire courage and hope; to call upon someone to act; to give affirming words that strengthens others.
9. Confess to One Another: To acknowledge openly; to freely admit to wrongdoing; to announce one’s guilt; to concede one’s shortcomings; to repent of sins; to agree with God that one’s sin is a sin.
10. Wash One Another’s Feet: A simple act of hospitality; a house servant’s task; involves placing someone else’s dirty, smelly feet into a bowl of water and carefully using one’s hands to cleanse those feet of all dirt, grime and sweat, and then drying the feet with a clean towel; a common, menial act of service and humility; exercising the ministry of touch to the untouchable; the powerful sacrament of servanthood.
11. Forgive One Another. To forgive someone is to join with the very character of God and His purposes for us. To forgive is to release mercy onto someone else, it is to give up the right to punish someone for a wrong that had been done to you. There are no limitations on how often we forgive someone, even for doing the same thing repeatedly. When we forgive someone who has wronged us, we create a space in which the Holy Spirit can go to work. When we refuse to forgive someone, we are hindering the spiritual growth of both parties, we hinder the work of the Spirit in that relationship, and we run the risk of not being forgiven by God.

Bearing Burdens by Sharing Sorrows. “Continue bearing each other’s heavy burdens. In this way you will be fulfilling Scripture’s true meaning, which is upheld by the Messiah Jesus. Keep carrying one another’s overwhelming loads, and you will be truly obeying Christ’s Royal Law of Love. By your ongoing offer to stoop down and help shoulder one another’s crushing burdens, you will be completely submitting to the way Christ expects us to live.” (Galatians 6:2).

Bear (Greek, “bastazo”) – to carry, to carry off; to take away, to take up with your hands; to shoulder or share a weight. This word is in the continuous present tense, which means to continue doing so, an ongoing effort and not a one-time activity.

Burden (Greek, “baros”) – a crushing load; an extremely heavy weight; an overwhelming burden; an oppressive weight too heavy for one person to carry alone.

Fulfill (Greek, “anapleroo”) – to accomplish in its entirety; to complete; to perform fully; to observe perfectly.

Law of Christ (Greek, “nomos”) – the teachings of the Messiah that highlight the intended meaning of the Law of Moses; Christ‘s words in the Gospels that clarifies the heart of Torah; the set of biblical expectations established by Jesus that reveals what the Lord had in mind in the Hebrew Scriptures; the spirit of the Law of Moses behind the letter of the Law, as expressed by Jesus Christ.

Bearing the Cross. Why was burden-bearing so near and dear to Paul’s heart, so much so as to believe that when one bears the burdens of others, one in fact is completing the expectations of Christ? Perhaps Paul focused on burden-bearing because this human act of love perfectly described what Christ did on the Cross for our salvation. The whole point of Christ’s burden-bearing was to heal and ransom us out of His profound love for us. Burden-bearing represents and demonstrates God’s love for us, and summarizes all that he did on Calvary. So when we bear the burdens of another, we are participating in the love Christ has for others. When we pick up our cross daily, we can’t help up but bear the burdens of others. “Surely it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows and our pain of punishment that weighed Him down. God has placed on Him the guilt and sin of us all.”  (Isaiah 53:4-5).

Be Careful!  Is there a point when sharing another’s sorrow becomes unhealthy? Is it possible that it may be unwise to weep with another who is weeping? This deep form of burden-bearing is one aspect of taking the yoke of Jesus upon our shoulders, so when we do share another’s sorrow, Jesus says that we will find rest, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30). There are a number of warning signs: If our weeping does not include active listening; if we become overwhelmed in our empathy and don’t keep our own emotional boundaries; if our shared sorrow becomes spiritually burdensome, overly stressful and too heavy; if we find ourselves carrying all that person’s grief rather than sharing it with that person; if our empathy with another’s grief becomes obsessive, or loses a sense of objectivity due to overidentifying with that person’s pain; if the weeping doesn’t respect the privacy of the other, and is an unwelcome imposition on the burdened; if we sense that we are inviting a toxic co-dependency; if we sense we are becoming spiritually ambitious, or are seen as an inappropriate busybody; if we develop an improper intimacy with the other person; if it inspires a messiah complex in us, and we become the center of attention as we subtly assume to be the savior of the world. When we share another’s sorrow, we need to consider if we are actually bearing the yoke of Christ, or if instead we are bearing a burden for selfish reasons, for our ego, or a good name, to feel less guilty, or to achieve a purpose that is not in line with Jesus, who is “meek and humble of heart.” When we are bearing burdens of others and shouldering the yoke of Christ in the process, it is meant to be costly in a healthy way, and life-giving to both parties. Burden-bearing is sacrificial, but not pathological or overwhelming. When it’s not life-giving, it’s time to do some soul-searching and to seek Jesus for wisdom. Burden-bearing is taking upon us the yoke of Christ, who is the Author of life and health. Weeping with those who weep is a healthy and helpful ministry that reflects Christ, until it’s not.

The Ultimate Burden-Bearer. Perhaps the healthiest burden-bearing is when we come alongside someone who is burdened, and as we share that person’s sorrow we offer to join them in bringing that parcel of pain to Christ, the only One who is equipped to bear such a profound burden. Only Jesus is able to literally carry our troubles. Perhaps instead of literally bearing someone else’s pain or burden, we should share the sorrow and encourage the burdened to offer the pain to Christ and to what He accomplished on the Cross. In that way the burdened person is able to participate in the life of Christ and join in His “fellowship of suffering” (Philippians 3:10). I wonder if by literally bearing someone’s burden and attempting to relieve that person of it, we end up depriving that person of truly joining that holy fellowship.

Weeping with Others through “Splagchnizomai”  (splawnk – NITZ – oh – mi). Don’t let that strange, practically unpronounceable Greek word put you off. It turns out to be one of the most meaningful ideas in the gospels, and it describes Jesus to a T. Most Bible versions translate this word to mean “moved with compassion.” But somehow that translation doesn’t quite do it justice. One might even say it doesn’t go deep enough. The literal meaning of this word is “to have one’s bowels yearn,” which makes sense since the root word for it is “intestines.” Since the innermost organs were considered at that time to be the seat of human emotions, and since love is the emotion being implied, splagchnzomai could be understood as an experience in which true compassion has its beginnings from down deep in the gut. This word points to an intense emotional experience that is felt in the pit of one’s stomach. This profound compassion is not superficial by any means, not casual, not distant. This compassion is immediate and so deeply felt that it demands action. This compassion is so visceral that it must find an outlet, a target, in doing something physical and helpful.

When Jesus was Deeply Moved with Compassion. There are a number of gospel passages in which Jesus experienced splagchnzomai. It is important for us to see the contexts in which He was moved in His innermost organs. It is vital that we observe Him as this intense emotion moved Him to action. It is fascinating to witness His profound feelings after observing the people who were living like sheep without a shepherd (Matthew 9:36 and Mark 6:34); when He was surrounded by neediness (Matthew 14:14); when He observed the huge throng of people skipping meals just to hear Him teach and preach (Mark 8:2); when He encountered a man who was leprous and two men who were blind (Mark 1:41 and Matthew 20:34); when He came upon a grieving widow who just lost her only son (Luke 7:13). The gospel writers also reported that Jesus Himself used this fancy Greek word splagchnizomai in three of His famous parables: The Unforgiving Servant (Matt. 18:21-35); The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37); and The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). By using this particular word in His stories, perhaps Jesus wants us to so identify with this idea that we would want to demonstrate it ourselves. Perhaps He wants us to feel compassion from the pit of our stomach like He did. If we are to follow this Man Jesus, we need His Spirit to develop the ability to dip deeply into the well of compassion, to develop a sensitive gut.

Living Into the Gut of Christ. As we deepen our union with Christ, as we live into His reality and character, we also live into His compassion, into being deeply moved to our very innards. As theologian Jeff McSwain once said, “If we truly are ‘in Christ,’ then just as we’ve been given the mind of Christ, we’ve also been given the ‘gut’ of Christ. In all acts of compassion, believers can give credit where credit is due, to the Savior who in solidarity with humanity shares his sensitive gut with us.” And the more we live into Christ, the more our gut matches the gut of Christ. For the Christian believer, to see human need is to bring in us a gut reaction.