The Bread of Tears: Questions to a Silent God

The Bread of Tears: Questions to a Silent God.

“Those who sow their tears as seeds will reap a harvest with joyful shouts of glee. They may weep as they go out carrying their seed to sow, but they will return with joyful laughter and shouting with gladness as they bring back armloads of blessing and a harvest overflowing!” (Psalm 126:5-6, TPT).

The Miracle of Tears. Each of us as human beings share a spectacular miracle… We each have been gifted by our Creator God with the ability to shed tears. And not merely one type of tear, but three kinds of tears, all of them benefitting us in different ways that, being so common, are easily taken for granted. First there are the Basal tears which are constantly produced to keep our eyes lubricated and moist, and which also provide much-needed nutrients to the cornea. Secondly are the Reflex tears that are triggered by irritants which wash away debris like dust and foreign objects, sooth our eyes from smoke, and prevent further irritation by giving our eyes time to heal up from the irritation. Amazingly too, Reflex tears contain antibodies to fight bacteria and avoid infection in our eyes. Finally, there are the Emotional tears which are released during times of strong emotions both positive and negative, such as anger, joy, sorrow, relief, fear, high stress, grief, and when something  is felt deeply and needs expression. Emotional tears are a special gift of our creator God, because they contain protein-based hormones that act as natural painkillers; a higher protein content to strengthen the eyes and keep them healthy; neurotransmitters that effect the ability to remember, to learn, to focus and pay attention, and release harmful stress. Emotional tears are a divine gift because it helps us express ourselves in healthy ways that are difficult to express any other way. Regardless of the kind of tear, they all contain enzymes that promote healing and maintain the health of our eyes. All tears are basically a water-based liquid that contain .3 mg of salt which have electrolytes and salt particles like sodium, potassium, calcium and magnesium. God is certainly the Lord of the Details when it comes to something as common yet complex as human tears.

Tearful Glimpses of the Bird in the Mist. Have you ever sat in a little fishing boat on a quiet lake early in the morning? The spindrift is thick, just hanging there suspended over the water, an expansive cloudy curtain shrouding everything in mystery. And then suddenly a bird cuts through the fog and makes a grand entrance, a startling and dramatic surprise, and then it disappears again. In and out. Seen and unseen. In awe you almost tip the boat over in fearful wonder as the bird enjoys the mystery, waiting for the day to begin in all its glory. I wonder if the world’s first day was something like that, the holy Dove soaring in and out of the thick watery mist, alert and carefree, preparing for the new life about to burst forth.

Redemption. But I have found that the mist continues to come and go, perhaps not the same watery cloud as the primordial one, but a cloud nonetheless. In our own brokenness, confusion, or life circumstance, we often wander inside a type of cloud, don’t we? Living in a fallen world, or realizing our own shortcomings and difficulties, we seem to carry around us a personal fog machine, and it’s easy to lose our way, or maybe even seemingly lose our God. But the poet-prophet Isaiah reminds us of our Creator’s grace by speaking Yahweh’s words… “I will not forget you. I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you,” says the Lord. (Isaiah 44:21-22). Yes! We can see a little of what redemption looks like now. The holy wind can make our occasional cloud disappear, whether self-inflicted or not. The sun has risen with healing in its wings, and mercy has covered over a multitude of sins and life challenges.

Double-Graced. Yes, God indeed sweeps away our guilt and guides us back home to Him when we, or is it Him, are in a fog. But we also discover that this Bird, the original brooder before time began, has been with us the whole time in the mist, our constant companion all along, floating in and out of our cloud of humanness, circling around us in hidden, humble love. Sometimes He disappears and seems to tarry unseen. Then He appears again. Faith believes He has been there all along, whether we see Him or not. We trust that the wings of grace have been giving us shelter in the shadows, unbeknownst to us. The Dove has never flown away! Unbalanced in our boat, grace in flight gladdens us again, darting through the fog, warming the frozen waters of our heart until new life begins to form. With eyes to see, with profound relief, and through His personal self-revelation, we gratefully smile at the Bird in the mist, who has never stopped taking us under His wing.

God in the Mist. It’s okay, biblical even, to call out to God, or even call out God Himself, when He is not clearly present, when we can’t see Him operate, when He is silent. Psalmists had no hesitation to question the Lord and ask some honest questions when the Bird in the mist appeared to disappear. Their questions were ancient versions of, “I believe, help my unbelief.”  Their doubts were in the context of faith, and they knew where to go with their questions, Who to ask. They name Him, they assume His presence, His open ear. We can certainly quote Scripture as we ask the same questions when the Dove is sight unseen.

1. “How long, Yahweh, will you forget me? Forever? How long will you turn away your face from me? How long must I nurse rebellion in my soul, sorrow in my heart day and night? How long is the enemy to domineer over me? Look down, answer me, Yahweh my God! Give light to my eyes or I shall fall into the sleep of death.” (Psalm 13:1-3)
2. “Why, Yahweh, do you keep so distant, so hidden in times of trouble? Why do you stand afar off and veil your eyes in times of distress? Rise up, O Lord! God, raise your hand, do not forget the humble who are afflicted!.” (Psalm 10:1,12)
3. “Heal me, Yahweh, my very bones are troubled, my spirit is shaken to its very depths. But you, O Lord, how long? Yahweh, return to me and save my life, rescue me because of your faithful love, for in death there is no remembrance of you; who could sing your praises in the place of the dead? I am weary with my groaning; all night I soak my pillow with tears; I drench my bed with my weeping. My eyes grow dim because of my grief.” (Psalm 6:3-7)
4. “How much longer, Lord, will you look on? Rescue my life from their onslaughts, from young lions rescue the one life that I have… You saw it, Yahweh, do not stay silent; Lord, do not stand aloof from me. Arouse yourself, rise up, awake to my defense, my God and my Lord, to my cause, to the justice due me!”  (Psalm 35:17, 22, 23)
5. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken and abandoned me? The words of my groaning do nothing to save me. My God, I call by day but you do not answer, at night, but I find no rest.” (Psalm 22:1-2)
6. “Wake up, O Lord! Why are you asleep? Arouse yourself! Do not abandon us for good. Why do you turn your face away, forgetting that we are poor and harassed? For we are bowed down to the dust, and lie prone on the ground. Arise! Come to our help! Ransom us, as your faithful love and mercy demands.” (Psalm 44:23-26)
7. “I soul grows faint as I wait for your salvation, for your word is my hope. My eyes, too, are worn out waiting for your promise. When will you have pity on me and comfort me? For I have become like a smoked and shriveled wineskin, but I do not forget your will. How many are the days your servant must endure? How long has your servant to live? When will you bring judgment to those who persecute and pursue me?”  (Psalm 119:81-84).
8. “O God, why do you cast us off, why have you finally rejected us, your anger blazing against the sheep you used to pasture? Remember the people you took to yourself long ago, your own tribe which you redeemed… Arise, God, champion your own cause. Remember the fool who scoffs and reproaches you day after day and all day long!” (Psalm 74:1-2, 22)
9. “I will behave myself wisely and go forward in the path of the blameless. O when will you come to me?” (Psalm 101:2)
10. “Through the night I ponder in my heart, and as I reflect, my spirit asks this question: Is the Lord’s rejection final? Will he never show favor again? Is his faithful love gone forever? Has His Word come to an end for all time? Does God forget to show mercy? In anger does he shut off his tender compassions?” (Psalm 77:6-9)
11. ” But, for my part, I cry to you, O Lord, every morning my prayer comes before you. Why do you rebuff me and cast me off? Why do you turn your face away from me?” (Psalm 88:13-14)
12. “Bring us back, God our Savior, and restore us! Cause your anger toward us to cease! Will you be angry with us forever? Will you prolong your disfavor age after age? Will you not give us life again, for your people to rejoice in you?” (Psalm 85:4-6).
13. “So now, O Lord, what am I to hope for, what do I expect? My hope is in you. I will keep silent and speak no more, since you yourself have been at work. Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for help, and do not remain deaf to my weeping.” (Ps. 39:7-8, 12).

Classic U2 asking the same question… “I’m still waiting for the dawn. How long, to sing this song? How long?”

Yahweh & “40” – U2 (Vertigo Tour Live From Chicago, 2005)

Yes and Amen. More often than not, these rather frank and challenging questions asked of God were soon followed up with bold statements of faith and trust in Him. These honest doubts and questions moved into an expressed confidence in God within an intimate relationship with Him.

“But I have trusted and been confident in your mercy and lovingkindness; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.” (Ps. 13:5-6).

“The Lord is King forever and ever! O Lord, you have heard the desire and longing of the humble and oppressed; You will strengthen their heart, and you will cause your ear to hear.” (Ps. 10:16-17).

“The Lord has heard the sounds of my weeping; He has heard my pleading and has received my prayer.” (Ps 6:8-9).

“Let the Lord be magnified, He who takes pleasure in the flourishing of this servant, and my tongue shall talk of your righteousness and justice, and my reasons for your praise all the day long.” (Ps. 35:27-28).

“All you who fear and worship the Lord, praise Him! All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him! All you children of Israel, revere Him! For he has not despised or ignored the afflictions of the humble, neither has he hid his face, but instead has listened to his cry for help.” (Ps. 22:24).

‘Who is a great God like our God? You are the God who does wonders; You have demonstrated your power among the peoples; You have redeemed your people with your mighty arm.” (Ps. 77:13-15).

“I will listen to what God the Lord will say, for he will speak peace to his people. Surely his deliverance is near to those who reverently fear Him. Yes, the Lord will give what is good, and righteousness shall go before Him, and He will make His footsteps a way in which to walk.” (Ps. 85:8-13).

Josh Garrels – Farther Along (Motion Lyrics)