8. Relationship Words in the Word: Marriage
- Relationship Words in the Word: Marriage.
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures about creation? The Creator made us male and female from the very beginning, and for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, sticking to her like glue. He will be literally joined with his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Husband and wife will be two persons united into one.” (Mathew 19:4-6).
Before the Beginning, the Godhead is enjoying a heavenly brainstorm about their joyous project that will result in a fresh new universe filled with beauty, love and purpose. The Trinity is mulling this over together in the infinite bosom of God, outside of time, therefore it takes no time at all, or maybe all the time in the world. All their comments are inspired, intuitive, and cooperative, since this is, after all, a Group project. During their conversation about the creation of a place where they can share their love, spread their goodness, and reflect their glory, they imagined galaxies and constellations, black holes and starbursts, gravity and light waves. They, too, consulted about the special plans they had in mind for one little planet called earth. The Father and the Son did most of the talking, and the Spirit of Love they shared occasionally offered an inspired idea as well. Fresh from expelling Lucifer from the heavenly realm, Michael the archangel was standing attentively nearby in case he was needed. The topic of human beings came up, and this is what followed…
Father: You, Son, are the love of My life, as You are, Spirit, and it would please Me to fill the earth with beings made in Your image, Son, breathing with Your very breath, Spirit. Mankind will be fashioned in Your likeness, Son. With joy let Us create these human beings so that We can love them, We can enjoy them and have fellowship with them. Since You were the model, Son, each human will be sacred and invaluable and priceless, and will represent You on earth.
Son: Yes, Father. I may be the model, but You are the prototype. After all, I am just a copy of You, and I will be a visible image of You the invisible God. And as We think about shaping the earthly dust into My holy image, let Us also consider Our desire to have a spiritual union with these human beings. We know that We are earnest about having deep eternal fellowship with these humans. So, what can We design that would help the people on earth understand the profound truth of Our union with them? Let Us create a physical symbol that reveals Our spiritual desires, a meaningful illustration on earth that shows the people what We have in mind. Let Us design marriage, a physical union between people that is a picture of a spiritual union between God and human beings. A husband and wife having physical relations will be the closest idea We get to Us having spiritual relations with humans. The man and woman will leave their father and mother to join together, two becoming one. That is such a wonderful picture of how We want them to be in union with Us, two becoming one in spirit.
Father: I like Your thinking here, Son. And We will encourage Our union with the people right here on earth, a foretaste of Our eternal union in heaven. People who start by trusting in You on earth will abide inside You, with You and each believer enjoying this sweet mutual indwelling before heaven begins! Heaven can start on earth. No one has to wait for a slice of Paradise, since We will provide a union with each one that anticipates the eternal heaven with Us later! Let Us call You the Bridegroom, Son. Your body of believers will be Your bride. You will be the eternal Husband, and Your believers will be the eternal wife. Your bride will receive You just as an earthly wife will receive her husband. Their physical union will point to Our plans for a spiritual union with every person who believes in Us. This is a mystery within a mystery, isn’t it? A spiritual marriage hinted at by the physical marriage. An eternal union that is the full meaning of the earthly union. A spiritual one-flesh suggested by a physical one-flesh.
Son: And I know what You are thinking, Father. You want to illustrate this spiritual, eternal marriage through a promise of faithfulness, a Covenant with a Chosen People, right? You are planning on committing Yourself to these people in faithful love, aren’t You? You will spiritually marry these Chosen People and be their Husband, correct? Your promise of love in Your marriage with them is a hint of Our ultimate desire for a spiritual marriage through their Anointed One, Me, Who will physically emerge from this Chosen Family. And I rejoice that I will be their Messiah, their Deliverer. And through them I will be the Savior of the world. Thank you, Father.
Father: Our eternal desire for spiritual oneness with mankind will slowly dawn on them as they see You take on flesh, Son. They will see what love looks like, and You will love them to the end. Many will understand that My First Covenant with the Chosen People will finally be fulfilled in Your New Covenant. The whole world will see at the Last Day that all of Our love-promises will finally be satisfied when the New Jerusalem comes down from heaven, “prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.”
Son: Yes, the final Wedding Feast of the Lamb, the final consummation of Our marriage with all those who follow Us. I see the final Feast, the ultimate spiritual union, hinted at in every marriage on earth, Father. The earthly marriage was a heavenly idea. And We designed this from all eternity.
Father: You know, Son, that Our idea of a spiritual union with people is going to require a second birth on their part. Each person who wants to develop a union with Us will need to have, what earthlings would call, a total make-over. After all, Our desire is to have each person become a new creature, with Our nature implanted into them, a new spiritual being altogether. So it would be a perfect time to put together a vivid picture of this new spiritual birthing process through Our human birthing process on earth, right? Just as a person being born from above requires God’s seed to bring about a whole new creature, man’s seed would be needed to bring about a whole new person on earth! Just as each new person created by Us is sacred, this earthly picture of new birth is holy as well. In both cases, heavenly and earthly, new life is the result! Perfect! The earthly birthing process pointing to the spiritual birthing process.
Son: Yes! And while We’re at it, the protective refuge in the mother, her womb, would be a great image for Your Fatherly womb of mercy! Let’s keep thinking about this, Abba, because We are definitely on a roll here…
“How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of Hosts! I languish, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of Yahweh. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God! Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar, O Lord of Hosts, my King and my God! What joy for those who can live in your house, always singing your praises.“ (Psalm 84:1-4).
In Love with God. How else can one say this? David and the other psalmists were in love with God and continually sought His intimate presence. If His presence seemed threatened, they felt vulnerable and bereft, like jilted lovers. For God to hide His face was an unthinkable tragedy, a catastrophe, a fate worse than death. “Do not hide your face from me, or I will die, like those who go down to the pit.” (Ps. 143:7). For David and the others, that wasn’t a lover’s hyperbole, that was the simple truth. The psalmists’ holy land was in his heart, where he could passionately bask in God’s presence and spiritually gaze upon the face of his Lover in worship.
“As the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God! My whole being thirsts for God, for the living God. I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. When shall I come and see the face of God?” (Ps. 42:1-2);
“Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my spirit is failing! Do not hide your face from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting in you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.” (Ps. 143:7-8);
“Lift up the light of your face upon us, Yahweh. Let your face smile on us. You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine.” (Ps. 4:6-8);
“When my heart whispered, ‘Seek God’s face,’ my whole being responded and I replied, ‘I am seeking your face with all my heart!’ Do not hide your face from me!” (Ps. 27:8);
“Blessed are the people who know the words of praise and celebration, who shout on parade in the radiant presence of God. Delighted, they walk, O Lord, in the light of your face!” (Ps. 89:15);
“Desperate, I throw myself onto you, for you are my God! Make your face shine upon your servant, and deliver me in your steadfast love!” (Ps. 31:16);
“May God be gracious to us and bless us with His favor; and make His face to shine upon us.” (Ps. 67:1);
“Restore us, O God; light up your face and smile on us, let your face shine that we may be rescued!” (Ps. 80:3).
A Love Affair with God. It seems that the psalmists brought the yearning for God’s face to another level entirely, from the desire for a strong friendship to a practically a spiritual lust for a love affair with the divine. Look at the profound desire for God in so many Psalms, and the language sounds remarkably similar to the expressions of love between a man and a woman. In many passages, the psalmist’s desperate desire for God sounds identical to what two romantic lovers would say to each other in their intimate moments, with an almost erotic intensity… I am desperate for you; I faint with longing to be in your presence; I pant for you with a desperate thirst; I just want to see your face and be in your presence; I want to give myself to you; I desperately throw myself onto you. The lover of God seeks the light of His face with the same zeal that a lover seeks the face of his beloved. How many times did the psalmists yearn for God to turn on the love-light of His face, to shine the love-light of His face onto His zealous lover? As crazy as it sounds, when a believing person expresses a fervent love for God, it is only in response to our God who took the first step by expressing His spiritual hots for us.
A Desperate Desire. David and the other psalmists seemed to know instinctively the secret to a flourishing relationship with God. Desire Him in a deep way, in a way that is like spiritual lust. Find your fulfillment in the Lord’s intimate presence. Develop a hunger to personally experience God in an increasingly meaningful way. It’s only right that David, “the sweet psalmist of Israel,” (2 Samuel 23:1), has the last word at this point: “Glory in His name! Shine and make your joyful boast in Him, you lovers of God! Let’s be joyful and keep rejoicing no matter what! Seek more of His strength! Seek more of Him! Let’s always be seeking the light of His face and alert for His presence!” (Psalm 105:3-4).
The Sacrament of Marriage. The psalmists in the Hebrew Scriptures seem to speak of a desperate yearning for God that sounds a lot like being spiritually married to God. In fact, there certainly is a mystery here, but might marriage be the best picture that God can give us of His desire to be in an intimate fellowship with us, with every human being ever created?
“As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one, becoming one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I am applying it to Christ and the Church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32).
The Spiritual Bedroom. Let’s consider the spiritual aspect of marital relations. Stretching way back to the beginning of the universe, it looks like Creator God designed a secret plan to have intimate fellowship with all those humans of His, all made in His image. God has desired fellowship with us since the beginning. He instituted marriage with that in mind, in which a man and a woman join into a union of 2-becoming-1 flesh. Hebrew scholars have noted that “flesh” in this Genesis context actually suggests something close to a blood relative. That’s how intimate this marriage was to be. God designed marriage to be pleasurable, fruitful, fulfilling, satisfying. And God wanted the marriage to be a foretaste of the desired union with each of us. God, believe it or not, yearns to be intimate with each of us, and what better illustrates that union than a joyful experience of a marital union at the human level? Marriage is a sign that points to the spiritual unity planned for us inside God. So the intimate, pleasurable and fruitful marriage is actually meant to be a sacramental sign, pointing us to our destiny as believers, a spiritual union with Christ! The physical union signifying the spiritual union, the physical reality of marital relations giving us a vivid picture of the spiritual reality of living within Christ. The sexual act, as wonderful as that is, is not intended to be the end of the story. It is meant to point directly to the spiritual relations we could enjoy with God. Marriage reveals the type of relationship God wants with each of us. Physical sex, which pretty much involves every aspect of our being, is a profound part of what it means to be human. Sexual activity in a marriage enables each spouse to give pleasure to the other out of love and devotion. Dare we say that our intimate fellowship with Christ, which also demands our all, is a spiritual version of marital sex?
Distorting the Design. Marriage is God-defined, God-designed, and God-ordained. No human person has the right to redefine marriage, tear apart God’s plan, or remove its sacred foundation. God’s plan from the beginning was to create a home in which a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife in a permanent, faithful relationship. The 2-in-1 union of husband and wife was intended to be, among the other obvious joys, an exciting reflection of the relationship between God and a believer. So what happens when a society tries to dismantle God’s design? A same-gender relationship, for instance? Or sexual activity outside of a faithful marriage of husband and wife? When that happens, God’s plan is torn asunder, it tragically obscures the understanding of God’s desired union with us. If the sacred illustration of God’s purposes for each of us is broken or rejected or distorted, then the true picture of spiritual union with God will become unknowable. There will be no reference point. Without a pure human experience to point to, how could anyone even begin to imagine the type of relationship that Christ wants us to have with Him? It’s no wonder that the breakdown of marriage and family spells the downfall of the Christian faith in a society.